Sunday, November 11, 2007

Procrastination

The story of my life as a college student - procrastination. See, right now, I'm supposed to be doing one of my three major, end-of-the-year, waste-of-time (at least that's my current viewpoint) projects that will seriously take me hours to complete a piece and I'm writing a new post on my blog. Hmm... I think I fit the bill perfectly.

I'm a procrastinator.

There, I've admitted it, no shame. Funny thing is, until I met Rob I was never a procrastinator about anything. I would always do things when they needed to be done. None of this putting it off stuff. What can I say though. Never before in my life have I had so many things going on at once. It's hard though, too when school doesn't quite hit #1 on my priority list - even though it should be.

I have to say though, wholeheartedly, I am in love with my life. Yes, I am more busy now than I've ever been, but I'm happy. I am in love and I am loved. I am planning my wedding! I'm building a house! I have been so blessed and God is so good. Granted I find myself saying, "If only" quite a few time on a daily basis, I wouldn't change my life for the world. Even the chaos that it is. I look forward to finishing another semester at Lindenwood and taking another step toward finishing up my college career. I look forward to another day spent with a wonderful family and a fantastic husband-to-be.

But, with that said, I must allow myself a little room to complain and be cranky sometimes and I hope that those around me understand, especially Rob. He is so wonderful and understanding and flexible. Able to deal with my stress-induced mood swings and constant rantings and ravings about various aspects of my day - and, being a substitute teacher, consistency is only hoped for. But, I digress.

IF
If freckles were lovely, and day was night,
And measles were nice and a lie warn’t a lie,
Life would be delight, —
But things couldn’t go right
For in such a sad plight
I wouldn’t be I.

If earth was heaven and now was hence,
And past was present, and false was true,
There might be some sense
But I’d be in suspense
For on such a pretense
You wouldn’t be you.

If fear was plucky, and globes were square,
And dirt was cleanly and tears were glee
Things would seem fair, —
Yet they’d all despair,
For if here was there
We wouldn’t be we.

~E.E. Cummings