Work Out Clothes

I'll be honest, I don't really like working out. I know if I just did it more, I would learn to like it, but I'm lazy and I don't. I try to work out on a regular basis, but I'm really good at coming up with excuses as to why I shouldn't go. Winter has been a great one. It's just plain cold outside. Who wants to go to the gym with thin work out clothes on and have to walk through frigid temperatures to get there? 


It's a horrible excuse, but another reason I don't really like working out is because I can never find work out pants that fit, mainly in length. I'm not exaggerating when I say that 95% of my wardrobe cost less than $10 and the things I have that cost more are either special occasion items or jeans that I had to spend more on for the length. Even then, I've never spent more than $25 on a pair of jeans. That's just not the way I roll.


So, in my mind, why would I drop even $20 on an item of clothing to wear solely for activities I don't like to do? Capris and shorts are one thing. But pants? Finding work out pants in a 34 inch inseam is a bear. Especially if I don't want to spend more than $10. Please observe my current work out pants. It's downright embarrassing. This is the way ALL of my work out pants look. I even have them pulled down low on my hips (though they never stay there. 

So, I've conquered the work-out bra problem and now I'm off to conquer the work-out pants problem. Or, maybe I'll just deal until summer when my capris will work.

12 Weeks to Better Photography

I'm very excited to be joining Meredith as well as some other bloggers in a 12 week photography course. As I write this I am anxiously awaiting my nifty fifty in the mail. Apparently UPS doesn't come to my house until very late in the evening because it's supposed to be here today and has not arrived yet!

Anyway, I will be going through 12 lessons, one each Tuesday, and posting the results here. I will also be linking to the other bloggers who are participating and hopefully we'll all be doing better by the end!

Feel free to leave comments, suggestions, criticism, etc. on the posts as I'm definitely looking to improve my skills!

Exciting Purchase!

I had some points wracked up on our reward system credit card and splurged on one of these:

It's a Canon 50mm/F1.8 lens for my camera. I'm so excited!! It'll give me a whole new arena of fun to explore in my photography hobby. The lens is nicknamed the "nifty fifty" and it provides awesome pictures with a great narrow depth of field. I'm anxiously awaiting it's arrival in the mail! Then, I'll be sure to post some pictures I've taken with it.

Speaking of pictures, my blog has been a little devoid of them lately, hasn't it? Well, hopefully this will help!

Day 2

Today is the second day of my Clomid cycle. I was really nervous about taking them. The major side effects associated with it are hot flashes and insomnia. So, I had to decide whether to take it in the morning or at night. If I took it in the morning, I was worried about getting hot flashes in the middle of school. If I took at night, I was worried about, well, insomnia.

Luckily, I've been side-effect free!

I'm trying really hard not to get my hopes high. I'm excited, REALLY excited, but I don't want to be disappointed. It feels kind of strange, too, because we didn't PLAN on getting pregnant so soon. But, the reason we're starting to try so quickly is because it may take longer than expected. I'd rather it be much sooner than much later.

I'm having those feelings of breaking rules or something. You know, you spend so long telling yourself that you can't do something - like you've set a rule for yourself - and then you allow yourself to break that rule. I'm having an interesting time getting past that feeling of doing something wrong.

So, operating get pregnant is underway. 10 days of progesterone pills (including horrible back cramping, bleck) - check. 3 days of waiting for my period - check. 2 days of my period - check. Now I have 3 more Clomid pills and I wait. And hope. And pray.

It's all in God's hands.

STOKED!!

Rob's business made the front page of the biggest gaming website in the world!!

Here's the story:

The Gamer Lounge on IGN

BTW, I took all those pictures - so does that mean I'm famous too?

Wedded Wednesday

Wedded Wednesday is a collaboration
of married bloggers sharing their inspirations,
anecdotes, struggles and thoughts regarding
the amazing union of two separate people, as one.

Being married to an entrepreneur has its moments. I am SO proud of Rob. I am proud of his accomplishments and his drive to make the best life he can. I am grateful for the sacrifices he makes for us and his desire to make us "rich so we can retire early and spend all of our time with our kids and families." He has worked so hard.

You know what's coming.

This has been a difficult week for us. We have spent the last week and a half prepping and planning for the grand opening and now it's come and gone. But, the stress still lingers. I tend to be unusually calm under pressure. I feel like I think clearest when I'm in situations that require big decisions. Rob, on the other hand, gets emotional and loses some sense of logic. He tends to get impatient and defensive and my attempts at a calm discussion don't always end nicely. But, we balance each other out and we manage.

Leah reminded me of communication today. There have been moments when I feel like if I just suck it up and hold on to the emotions I'm feeling with the stress in our lives, it will be better. But, then I remember the times I've done that before and the problems it has caused. I know, though, that this too shall pass. Rob will not always be stressed and I will not always be stressed because he is stressed. I take comfort in knowing that at the end of the day, we'll be together side-by-side and loving each other more than ever.

Downside

The biggest downside to being off birth control? Acne. I feel like I'm 16 again... :(

I'm not sure that it was the birth control that was entirely controlling it, so much as the lack of major hormonal swings.

Anybody have any suggestions? I'm just trying my best to keep things under control!

BTW, Valentine's day was this weekend. And, while I said Rob and I weren't doing anything because of the business, he did make me a fabulous dinner of chicken in cream sauce while we watched a movie together on the couch. It doesn't sound like much, but it was wonderful to just relax together after a long day on Sunday.

Gamer Lounge Grand Opening

It was a HUGE success!! The local band, Beckon, played for about 25min before the grand opening and they were fantastic. You should definitely check them out when we get the video up. Then we had the unveiling. It was awesome. Check it out:

The band: Beckon

Before the unveiling:

Again, before the unveiling:

Immediately after the curtain was pulled:

 Stop by if you're ever in St. Peters! We'll be open for 6 weeks.

Check out our website for updates as well.

Woo-hoo!!

We got our tax return today!! Doing taxes sucks, but it sure is worth it in the end. :)

Is anyone else celebrating with me? Too bad we won't have it for long. Is it sad that we've already decided what it will go to?

Come on out!

I've revamped the blog. I wanted a more "springy" look and made a new header and changed some html to give the blog a facelift! All you google readers come check it out!

Wedded Wednesday

I thought I might take on the challenge of this theme I saw on another blog. Here goes.

It is Wednesday, right? Okay, good.

What is Wedded Wednesday? Read for yourself:

Wedded Wednesday is a collaboration

of married bloggers sharing their inspirations,

anecdotes, struggles and thoughts regarding

the amazing union of two separate people, as one.

Saturday will be our 20 month wedding anniversary. I know what you're thinking. Who still counts months? It's kind of our thing. The number 13, that is. Our first date: August 13, 2008. Friday the 13th to be exact. Our first kiss? 13 Days later. We got married on June 13, 2008. Also Friday the 13th. So every 13th of the month is special. Its a little thing we share. I love it.

I remember the first time I understood what it felt like to be in love. To love someone so much that it hurt. It was January 2005. I cling to that feeling. Relish in its glory. In its pain. To have those fleeting thoughts of accidents and this could be the last time when he walks out the door. Only to have them swept away by a kiss.

Our wedding day. When we made that commitment that not matter what, we'd keep remembering that feeling of love so deep your heart hurts. It makes me smile. When I changed my name. I joke about my last name, but I'm proud of it. I'm proud of him.

The fights and arguments. I consider them moments made for future entertainment. The first feelings of accomplishment at doing something together. Buying a house, car, lawn mower. Putting the Christmas tree up together.

Cherishing the time we have on this earth and knowing I am blessed enough to have him to share it with. That is wedded bliss.

Purely. Simply. Love.

Fears.

Since making my previous post, I feel like a weight has been lifted. I no longer feel like I have this big burden I'm carrying around on my own. But, that doesn't mean that I'm not still apprehensive. That I'm not still scared. This whole situation is terrifying.

The decision to try. That first step to stop taking the pill. That was a big decision. We'd spent the entirety of our marriage without this worry of getting pregnant and all that it entails. Then, we took the step. We crossed the line into the world of trying to conceive. Well wasn't that a joke. To think of all the money spent on birth control pills and now we're going to spend money on just the opposite. Ironic. 

Then come the doubts. After a never-ending cycle, the thoughts of trouble started creeping in. Like I said before, I've always had issues with my cycles. But until now, it never meant anything. I didn't really think about it. I've always wanted to be a mom. More than anything. And finally we decided that it was time, only to hit a road block. What if I never get that chance? That scares me more than anything. More than spiders. That's a lot. 

Okay. Enough of the drama. I got past that fear. I talked to my mom. She calmed my fears. I talked to my doctor. She calmed my fears. There are solutions. So, here we go. Clomid. Enter more fears.

When the doctor prescribed me the Clomid, she said, "If you're not pregnant in three months...." Holy crap. That was, like, fast. I got really excited. And really scared. I had kind of settled back into that "it's not possible to get pregnant mode." No ovulation means no baby. Now its real again. It's like going off the pill again. But this fear is okay. It's apprehension. Excitement. Then fear again.

Clomid can cause multiples. My friend is a NICU nurse and she sees lots of Clomid multiples. Um... multiples? Ack! My brain can't handle it! But, again, after discussion and prayer, we were okay. If God decides to give us multiples, so be it. 

But what if it doesn't work? Then what? Up the Clomid? Explore other drugs? IUI? IVF? How much does this cost? How risky is it? When is it time to just move on? 

Then, after all of these "what-if's" have given me multiple anxiety attacks I feel that calm that only God can provide. Just when I needed it; when God knew I needed it, I came across this verse:

"Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 4:6-7

And I remember, everything is going to be okay.

The Gamer Lounge is Famous!

Well, going to be.

My husband's business will be opening in the Mid Rivers Best Buy on Sunday for a 6-week trial period. We need your support!! This could be potentially huge for us and the business.

In fact, KMOV Channel 4 is going to do a news story on it's good news section tonight at 10pm. They will be interviewing one of the co-owners and giving a sneak peak at what's to come.

We are REALLY excited and hope that this is a huge success. Tune in!

Operation Get Pregnant

Yes, you read right. Rob and I have officially crossed into the world of trying to conceive. It's a big step for me to post on my blog that Rob and I have decided to try to have a baby. I've been struggling with posting this for a while, but I've decided that this is what my blog is for. The decision to try to have a baby is a very personal one. I had hoped that we would just make this decision, try for a little while having this fun little secret between the two of us and eventually announce here that I was pregnant. But it doesn't seem to be going that way.

We've actually been across the line for a little while now, but it's proving to be a little more difficult than we anticipated. Actually, scratch that. Its been just as difficult as I anticipated (part of the reason we decided to start trying - it could potentially take a while). Without going into gory details that even women don't really like to read about, unfortunately my body does not seem to behave like a "normal" woman's body should. I have never gotten regular periods and, as I've discovered through charting, I have not been ovulating.

There's a big scientific equation behind the cycle a woman's body goes through each month and for some the equation is missing certain variables. My doctor thinks I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). For some women this diagnosis results in the complete inability to ever conceive. For others, it's just a little hurtle. My mother has the same diagnosis and she successfully (though with much trying) conceived my brother and I. It is by no means a death sentence to our chances of conception. But, like I said earlier, it may prove more difficult. Whether it's PCOS or not, I'm not ovulating and that's a problem. This is where the big decisions come into play.

What do we do? Keep trying and hope that I eventually ovulate and we catch that chance? This could happen as little as two to three times a year, if that. This makes our chances pretty slim. So, do we chase these chances? Do we seek medical help? What would the medical help entail? Medication? What risks are involved? So, I enter the world of possible infertility treatments. I made an appointment with my OB/GYN and we discussed my options. There were two. I could continue charting and hope that I eventually ovulate and we actually get pregnant. Or, we could try a medication called Clomid. :::Cue worst-case scenario-induced panic:::

What is Clomid? Clomid is a medication which, in essence, induces ovulation. For many women it works immediately and there is success. For a small percentage of these success stories, it may cause multiples. :::Cue more worst-case scenario-induced panic::: For some it doesn't work. It didn't work for my mom.

After much discussion, Rob and I have decided that we are going to attempt a very low dose of the medication and see if anything happens (we pray that it does!). If not, we'll go from there. Am I okay with this decision? After much thought and prayer and deliberation, yes.

I hope I don't bore you with this stuff. I guess I'm looking to have someplace to lighten my mental load because, while it is important for my husband to know and understand what's going on, no matter how much I talk to him about it I know, as a man, he'll never quite understand. He is trying his best to understand and is doing so well at being supportive. But, I think his brain shuts down at any mention of periods or cervical mucus. Do you blame him? I don't. I wouldn't blame you for wanting to stop reading right now. I'm rambling.

So, here we are. Rob and I want to have a baby. Anovulatory cycles = no baby. And so begins round 1 of Clomid (something I'm still coming to terms with). Wish me luck!