Yes, you read right. Rob and I have officially crossed into the world of trying to conceive. It's a big step for me to post on my blog that Rob and I have decided to try to have a baby. I've been struggling with posting this for a while, but I've decided that this is what my blog is for. The decision to try to have a baby is a very personal one. I had hoped that we would just make this decision, try for a little while having this fun little secret between the two of us and eventually announce here that I was pregnant. But it doesn't seem to be going that way.
We've actually been across the line for a little while now, but it's proving to be a little more difficult than we anticipated. Actually, scratch that. Its been just as difficult as I anticipated (part of the reason we decided to start trying - it could potentially take a while). Without going into gory details that even women don't really like to read about, unfortunately my body does not seem to behave like a "normal" woman's body should. I have never gotten regular periods and, as I've discovered through charting, I have not been ovulating.
There's a big scientific equation behind the cycle a woman's body goes through each month and for some the equation is missing certain variables. My doctor thinks I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). For some women this diagnosis results in the complete inability to ever conceive. For others, it's just a little hurtle. My mother has the same diagnosis and she successfully (though with much trying) conceived my brother and I. It is by no means a death sentence to our chances of conception. But, like I said earlier, it may prove more difficult. Whether it's PCOS or not, I'm not ovulating and that's a problem. This is where the big decisions come into play.
What do we do? Keep trying and hope that I eventually ovulate and we catch that chance? This could happen as little as two to three times a year, if that. This makes our chances pretty slim. So, do we chase these chances? Do we seek medical help? What would the medical help entail? Medication? What risks are involved? So, I enter the world of possible infertility treatments. I made an appointment with my OB/GYN and we discussed my options. There were two. I could continue charting and hope that I eventually ovulate and we actually get pregnant. Or, we could try a medication called Clomid. :::Cue worst-case scenario-induced panic:::
What is Clomid? Clomid is a medication which, in essence, induces ovulation. For many women it works immediately and there is success. For a small percentage of these success stories, it may cause multiples. :::Cue more worst-case scenario-induced panic::: For some it doesn't work. It didn't work for my mom.
After much discussion, Rob and I have decided that we are going to attempt a very low dose of the medication and see if anything happens (we pray that it does!). If not, we'll go from there. Am I okay with this decision? After much thought and prayer and deliberation, yes.
I hope I don't bore you with this stuff. I guess I'm looking to have someplace to lighten my mental load because, while it is important for my husband to know and understand what's going on, no matter how much I talk to him about it I know, as a man, he'll never quite understand. He is trying his best to understand and is doing so well at being supportive. But, I think his brain shuts down at any mention of periods or cervical mucus. Do you blame him? I don't. I wouldn't blame you for wanting to stop reading right now. I'm rambling.
So, here we are. Rob and I want to have a baby. Anovulatory cycles = no baby. And so begins round 1 of Clomid (something I'm still coming to terms with). Wish me luck!