Adam Jonathan: 1 Month

You are one month old, big guy! You've lived up to your big birth size and at your one month appointment you were 11 pounds 13 oz (90%) and 23.75 inches (100%). You are starting to outgrow your 3 month clothes and are moving into 6 month. It's just crazy! Comparing you to big sissy, she was still 10 lbs at one month!

Having a newborn with a toddler in the house is definitely interesting. I feel like I don't get to focus on you as much so I try to soak up the little quiet moments as much as possible. I swear I'm not exaggerating, but you have been purposely smiling since you were about 3 weeks old. That seems so early to me and I made no mention of it in Evelyn's one month post so I'm thinking I'm right. You give the biggest grins and coo and gurgle at us. It's the best.

You definitely aren't as content of a baby as your sister. There have been a couple of times where I've wondered if you had reflux and would even call you colicky. It just seemed like you couldn't get comfortable and if you weren't eating, sleeping, or being held you were crying! Add on to that your first cold this week and Mama is feeling so bad for you! I wish you were happy and healthy!

Your sleep is getting better. You've yet to sleep longer than 4 hours at a time but since we started swaddling you (I hope I don't regret that when we have to stop!) you've done much better. You will go to sleep in your crib, wake to nurse, and go right back to sleep again. That makes the night time wakings so much better! I've never minded waking with my kids in the middle of the night - as long as they go back to sleep!

You have moments of hating your car seat and moments of not minding. Mostly though, you have to be moving to be happy. You also enjoy your pacifier.

You've been in cloth diapers since 2 weeks and we are doing well! I'm doing laundry daily, but it's not too bad. Cloth diapers with a newborn is way easier than with a toddler! No spraying poop!

You love to nurse, though just like Evelyn we have some tough times because of my oversupply and forceful letdown. We'll figure it out though.

Keep growing big boy! Mama loves you! Now I need to get on those one month pictures!

The Birth of Adam Jonathan

Adam was "due to arrive" on March 11, 2013. I was about 99% sure of this due date, but as we all know, babies have minds of their own and he decided he was comfortable. Looking back, I think the length and difficulty of his labor were tied directly to his late arrival as I don't think he was quite in the right position for the big event.

March 11, was a Monday and it came and went quite uneventfully. I wasn't too stressed as his big sister arrived a day after her due date. I had prepared myself for him to go a little earlier, but I really hadn't thought he would be late. Much less a week late. On Wednesday, March 13, I started contracting when nursing Evelyn to sleep that night and was happy when the contractions didn't disappear after about an hour like they normally did. After timing them for a few hours, they were steadily 6-7 minutes apart and I thought I had finally reached early labor. I let my doula know and we waited. They continued until about 11 that evening and I decided to lay down for a while to see if I could rest. At 1, I woke up and they were all but gone. I was disappointed, but thought they might pick up in the morning when I got up and started moving around again.

Unfortunately, that next day nothing happened. I went to my appointment with Dr. Lindsey and had her check me, lamenting at my false labor. She said she commonly sees labors start and stop with second time moms and that I was 2-3 cm and about 50% effaced. Well, at least I had made progress! She told me not to make an appointment for next week and that she'd probably see me before the weekend was over.

I had a few more bouts of prodromal labor that week all resulting in nothing. It was really frustrating and my patience was wearing thin. 

Finally, on Sunday evening, March 17, I started having some more real time-able contractions after nursing Evelyn around 7. I tried not to get my hopes up as they had come and gone before, but before I knew it they were every 4-5 minutes, then every 3-4, then every 2-3. I was worried about having a precipitous labor and had been communicating with Alicia on and off and we both decided that I should go ahead and head into the hospital. 

I got to the hospital at 11 pm and they confirmed I was in labor and was 4 cm and 100% effaced. I was finally going to have this baby! I started to get into my mental zone knowing that a battle was in front of me and that the more effort I made toward encouraging labor, the better it would be. I got my first round of antibiotics in and then I walked the halls of the hospital for the next hour or so holding onto the rails and squatting through each contraction, hoping to move baby into a good position. Finally, my feet started hurting and they said that the birthing tub was ready and I could get in when I wanted. I decided to hang out for a little while longer and get a monitoring session over with and then I'd get in. At about 3am I decided to get in the tub as the contractions were getting stronger and I was having to really concentrate through them. Alicia and my mom were on standby keeping me hydrated and giving me pressure when I needed it. But, during this stage of labor, I'm pretty content to just be by myself. Evelyn was sleeping in the classroom across the hall with my mother in law and Rob was down in the waiting room with our dads hanging out until he was more needed.

Moving into the tub was glorious. Just as relaxing as I remember it being the first time except better. The birthing tub was big and warm and deep. I could move in it as I needed and it was just perfect. I continued to labor in the tub getting out occasionally to go to the bathroom or get monitored and trying to do everything I could to get things moving. I was so ready to meet my baby! We all made fun of Rob a bit because he kept falling asleep on the bed. He was so awesome that day!

At about 7:45 am, Dr. Lindsey came in and I decided I wanted to get checked. I felt like the baby had moved down and I was starting to feel a little pressure. I wondered if I was nearing transition as the contractions were really starting to get difficult.

At 8, they checked me and confirmed I was at 8 cm and 100% effaced. I was relieved! 8 cm! I knew I had reached transition as I was starting to question my resolve and the pain was really intense. I remained out of the tub to try a few positions to encourage me to dilate the rest of the way and for him to work his way down.

All during this time I was battling with myself. I kept thinking, "I can't do this" and then telling myself that if I was thinking those thoughts, then I was in transition and it would be over soon. I played this mental battle for what seemed like an eternity. And, looking back it was. This is when things went south. I labored for another hour in the tub before getting out wanting to be checked again. The pain and pressure were there, I knew I must be ready soon. Still, I was at an 8. I tried laboring on my hands and knees during which my water broke (though not fully) at about 10:45. I got back in the tub. I was starting to get vocal. This MUST be the end. He MUST be ready. Many times I looked at Rob and Alicia and my mom and said, "This is taking too long. I'm not supposed to be in transition for this long." I started questioning if I was really in transition and maybe I just was being a wimp. So, I steeled my resolve and pressed on. I got out of the tub again to be checked. By this time I was pretty over it. I was questioning my body. But, I had to be progressing. They checked me, still 8 cm. I was devastated. How long had it been? Dr. Lindsey said we needed to try and make the contractions a little stronger to encourage me to dilate. She tried to push the cervix out of the way a bit. I tried squatting through contractions. I tried hands and knees. I tried to have Evelyn nurse to encourage my contractions so I didn't have to do pitocin. I couldn't imagine making them stronger with pitocin. I didn't think I could handle it. Finally, I cracked. I looked at Rob and he looked at me, knowingly, and I said, "I'm done. It's not supposed to be like this. Something isn't right." After discussing it with Dr. Lindsey (haha, discussing things between screaming through contractions is pretty interesting), Rob, and Alicia, we all decided that we needed to take a new approach. My goal went from waterbirth to healthy baby, healthy mom, vaginal delivery. No one mentioned a c-section ever (thank goodness!) but obviously something wasn't right. The consensus was that Adam was malpositioned (I knew he was posterior) and something was preventing him from descending into the birth canal. He had been at a -1 station almost the entire time I was there. I was then informed that I had been in transition laboring at 8 cm for 6 hours. I told them I just needed a little break and decided to get the epidural to see if the relaxation would work toward dilating me the rest of the way.

{Evelyn came to visit me occasionally that day, and the hospital was so accommodating to her!}

At about 3, I finally got the epidural. I asked for him to make it a "light dose" if possible as I still wanted some feeling and idea of what was going on. I could always feel my legs, though they were tingly, but I couldn't feel ANYTHING else and to be honest, I hated it. Don't get me wrong, I was grateful for the break, but I disliked the lack of control and awareness I had over my body. I had them come turn it down twice in hopes that I'd at least be able to feel enough to push without coaching. Even at half a dose, I couldn't feel anything (not even the pressure of delivering him). Unfortunately, the epidural didn't work toward pushing me to complete as I had hoped. After another two hours and some breast pump action to try and strengthen the contractions, I was still at an 8. So, they started the pitocin. At 6:35, I was close enough to complete that Dr. Lindsey told me to try bearing down to push the little lip of cervix out of the way. Apparently, my issue isn't with pushing 10 lb babies out, because 10 minutes and 4 pushes later, he was here!

Immediately he was laid on my chest and everything was perfect. He was perfect and everyone commented on his size. He had a bit of trauma to the left side of his face where I assume he got stuck as his left eye was so swollen he didn't open it for 2 days and he has a broken blood vessel in it. The crease that was across his forehead was pretty amazing as well.

I am so grateful to Dr. Lindsey, Rob, Alicia, and my Mom for sticking with me through everything. The nurses were amazing as well. One of them came in on her night off because she loves to work with natural, waterbirth mamas and the others that were there pretty much didn't leave. It was like having an extra doula! While I mourn my waterbirth and I (selfish as it sounds) feel like I was robbed of my "natural birth" badge (lol), I feel like I made the right decision. My goal was to ultimately have a healthy baby, a healthy mama, and a vaginal delivery and that's what I got. I have a healthy, beautiful boy and I couldn't ask for more. Rob was pretty traumatized by the experience and he immediately said we were done having kids. I, on the other hand, want at least one more and maybe next time I'll get my waterbirth.

After spending some time nursing Adam and enjoying some wonderful skin to skin, we got his official stats (9 lbs 15.8 oz  - isn't that technically 10? - 21.5 inches long). We are so thrilled to have welcomed a little boy into our family! He already fits right in.

{Doesn't Rob look amazing for 24 hours of labor totaling almost two days of no sleep? Also, my belly band was absolutely perfect to use as a tube top for my "waterbirth". I highly recommend it!}

Introducing...

Baby #2: 40 Weeks

How far along: 40 Weeks (+1 Day) - My guess date has come and gone!

How big is baby: A jackfruit! As long as she's in your belly, baby's hair and nails will continue to grow, and her lungs will keep developing. She's anywhere from 5 to 11 lbs and is getting ready for a slightly gooey introduction any day now.

Weight gain/loss: Not sure on the exact number, but I can say that I am still below my end weight from my pregnancy with Evelyn. At my 39 week appointment, I was 168. I hit 172 with Evelyn's pregnancy. I'm pretty happy with that!

Stretch marks: Yep. I've had a few pop up around my belly button. They aren't all over like last time though.

Sleep: Not too bad. Not awesome, but not too bad. Evelyn's sleep on the other hand has left something to be desired. She's napping today though!

Diet/Cravings/Aversions: Nothing sounds good. I'm pretty sure my body is trying to stay in an optimal state for labor and delivery. I'm not very hungry most of the time and when I do want something it's usually light.

Movement: Still dancing away. Last night I had another solid hour of huge movements and kicks. I'm going to miss it...

What I'm worrying about: Trying to keep the "what-if's" at bay again. Being that I'm now technically "overdue," I'm getting anxious about how long this baby is going to want to stay put and thus being put under more scrutiny as far as getting him/her to make his/her exit. My OB is really good about this though.

What I'm loving: These last few days of baby kicks. Since he/she has dropped, I'm feeling surprisingly comfortable and I'm glad I'll be left with a positive feeling from this pregnancy.

Symptoms: Contractions. Sporadic, but they are there. Indigestion. Cervical pain. 

What I'm looking forward to: Seeing how this labor and delivery go! Experiencing that amazing moment of meeting my baby. Finding out the gender!!!

Best moment of the week: Hitting my guess date! 

Baby #2: 39 Weeks

{New phone! Woo-hoo!}

How far along: 39 Weeks

How big is baby: A watermelon! Baby's brain is still developing rapidly and his skin has taken a paler shade thanks to a thicker layer of fat around the blood vessels. He's now able to flex his limbs, and his nails might extend past his fingertips.

Weight gain/loss: I want to say we're closer to the 40lb mark now. I've only gained 2-3 lbs in the past month or so.

Stretch marks: Yep. I've had a few pop up around my belly button. They aren't all over like last time though.

Sleep: Better. I've actually slept entirely through the night a few times otherwise I'm only waking to pee.

Diet/Cravings/Aversions: I've lost my appetite a bit. Not much sounds good. Though I'm still enjoying sweets more than salty.

Movement: Slow and steady. I'm getting a lot of the "lightning crotch" feelings and pressure as the baby is dropping but he/she is still wiggling away in what limited space is left. I'm also getting some very deep nerve pain when (I assume) the baby hits something in there. It radiates through my hip bones and butt and sometimes almost knocks me off my feet! Check out the video I took last night! This was even after he/she got a little camera shy!

{I'm not the biggest fan of showing my bare belly, but I couldn't pass this one up}

What I'm worrying about: Not too much. Just getting through labor and delivery in general and have a healthy baby!

What I'm loving: Another wave of nesting! Getting baby clothes washed and put away. Looking at tiny newborn cloth diapers. Having the crib ready again and the swing out for use. Getting so close!

Symptoms: This past week has been really good! I was pretty miserable for a few weeks and all of a sudden it's like things are magically better. Aside from having a belly in the way and the occasionally sharp pain, I'm feeling almost 2nd tri-ish. It's really setting me up for positive memories of this pregnancy. I'm happy to be reminded of why I love being pregnant and how much I am blessed to enjoy this miracle.

What I'm looking forward to: Holding my sweet baby. Smelling the smell. The high of that first moment when I get to meet him or her. Knowing that I'm about to double the joy of parenthood in our house. 

Best moment of the week: My mom coming over yesterday to help me do some serious cleaning and organizing. Rob and I made a ton of freezer meals on Sunday and I'm feeling pretty ready! 

Baby #2: 38 Weeks

{Hello belly button!}

How far along: 38 Weeks

How big is baby: A pumpkin. The last bits of vernix caseosa and lanugo are slowly shedding into your amniotic fluid. Baby's head is about the same circumference as her abdomen, and her head could be covered in an inch or so of hair.

Weight gain/loss: I want to say we're closer to the 40lb mark now. I've only gained 2-3 lbs in the past month or so.

Stretch marks: Still not sure, but nothing is glaring at me.

Sleep: Pretty terrible. Mix a cold in with the general uncomfortable feelings and it kind of sucks.

Diet/Cravings/Aversions: I've lost my appetite a bit. Not much sounds good. Though I'm still enjoying sweets more than salty.

Movement: Slow and steady. I'm getting a lot of the "lightning crotch" feelings and pressure as the baby is dropping but he/she is still wiggling away in what limited space is left.

What I'm worrying about: Going into labor while I have a cold! That sounds miserable. It's pretty minor, but still.... Just things in general. Praying for a safe delivery and a healthy baby. And, if I can have the perfect labor and delivery I'm envisioning to go on top of it would be great!

What I'm loving: The snow that has forced us to take a few slow days. I was pretty busy for a few weeks and I'm enjoying some time at home and trying to rest a bit.

Symptoms: Indigestion, SPD, gall bladder pain. I had this weird pain in my leg this week but it has subsided. Actually, overall things have lessened in the past few days. My gall bladder isn't burning all the time. The indigestion is waning. My ribs aren't aching horribly. I think that can all be contributed to the baby settling down low. Of course, that means a lot of pressure down low, but what can I say? 

What I'm looking forward to: Summer! Trips to the zoo. Babywearing. Remembering to enjoy the little things and not letting myself get caught up in an overwhelming feeling of what's coming!

Best moment of the week: FINALLY settling on both boy and girl names for good. I hope. We kind of suck at making decisions. I think Rob is in denial. 

#2: 37 Weeks

How far along: 37 Weeks - Full Term!

How big is baby: A winter melon. Baby has reached full term! That means he's developed his most crucial functions. Of course, he'll get even healthier and stronger over the next few wees, so don't get too impatient.

Weight gain/loss: Around 35 lbs. Not too bad so far after a rough start! I am still below my final number with Evelyn's pregnancy though.

Stretch marks: Still not sure, but nothing is glaring at me.

Sleep: Every day is different. Some days I sleep well and others, not so much.

Diet/Cravings/Aversions: Again, I feel like I'm wanting a lot of what I was craving with Evelyn's pregnancy. Fruit, sub sandwiches. Though I'm still loving some chocolate.

Movement: It's slowed down a lot. Baby is definitely running out of room! I do think he/she is anterior though instead of posterior like Evelyn was.

What I'm worrying about: Not a whole lot. Of course I have some moments where I worry about a safe labor and delivery but at this point I'm kind of accepting that it's out of my control. Getting anxious about what's coming but so looking forward to having another little one!

What I'm loving: Having some last hurrah family adventures with the three of us before we become a family of four!

Symptoms: Indigestion, SPD, gall bladder pain. I just keep on keeping on! I think I've dropped a little and my hip/pelvic pain is getting steadily worse. I'm becoming very slow, which if you know me at all is very unusual!

What I'm looking forward to: Watching Evelyn's reaction to the baby.

Best moment of the week: Family weekend. Rob and I took Evelyn to the Butterfly House and the Carousel afterward. We've just been thoroughly enjoying ourselves and Evelyn's last few weeks as an only child. Makes for some sweet memories!

#2: 36 Weeks (Baby Says Hi!)

How far along: 36 Weeks

How big is baby: A honeydew. Baby's skin is getting smooth and soft, her gums are rigid, her liver and kidneys are in working order, and her circulation and immune system are good to go. Her lungs are the only organs that still need to fully mature, but every day she gets a little closer to breathing on her own.

Weight gain/loss: Around 35 lbs. Not too bad so far after a rough start!

Stretch marks: I'm not sure at this point. It looks like there are a few popping up around my belly button, but I only see them in a certain light. I've still got some time (hopefully) for them to really appear.

Sleep: Every day is different. Some days I sleep well and others, not so much.

Diet/Cravings/Aversions: Again, I feel like I'm wanting a lot of what I was craving with Evelyn's pregnancy. Fruit, sub sandwiches. Though I'm still loving some chocolate.

Movement: Slowing down and more patterns, but sometimes this kid just goes to town! See for yourself!

{Yes, that is the baby moving, not me moving my belly!}

What I'm worrying about: Not a whole lot. Of course I have some moments where I worry about a safe labor and delivery but at this point I'm kind of accepting that it's out of my control. Getting anxious about what's coming but so looking forward to having another little one!

What I'm loving: Thinking about snuggling a newborn again and that sweet newborn smell.

Symptoms: Indigestion, SPD, gall bladder pain. I just keep on keeping on!

What I'm looking forward to: Weird as it sounds, experiencing labor and delivery again. I'm praying that it goes as well as last time, but I am looking forward to that rush. The whole thing was just so indescribable. I'm getting ready!

Best moment of the week: My meeting with my doula. I'm so happy already that we hired her again. She came over and we talked a lot about things and my expectations. She gently reminded me that I'm 36 weeks which means I might want to start thinking about packing my hospital bag (yikes!) and she brought me a really nice little bag of goodies including an herbal sitz bath and some tea and breastfeeding necessities. It was also nice to talk to a mom who just went through L&D a few weeks ago herself. 

#2: 35 Weeks

{Yes, I do exist outside of my pajamas. I promise!}

How far along: 35 weeks; 35 days to go (actually, since this post is a day late... 34!)

How big is baby: A coconut. From now on baby's growth is mostly in the plumping department - though he won't get much longer, he'll put a pound or more of baby fat on before birth. His hearing is totally developed and if he really is a "he," his testes have probably completed their descent.

Weight gain/loss: At least 30lbs. Between the different scales, I'm not sure of the exact number but I'm looking at about 35lbs right now. I only gained 1lb between my last two appointments (two weeks apart) so I'm not feeling too bad about this right now!

Stretch marks: I thought I had one emerging below my belly button but it hasn't gotten any worse. Maybe I won't add to my stretch mark collection this time? I think I just jinxed myself.

Sleep: Terrible. Between the intense discomfort brought on by my development of SPD and Evelyn moving to her new bed, I'm exhausted. 

Diet/Cravings/Aversions: I'm starting to lean toward fruit a little more these days. Sounds like Evelyn's pregnancy!

Movement: Slowing down a little I think but he/she definitely reminds me he/she is in there often!

What I'm worrying about: Getting Evelyn to bed easily. It's been rough. It's only been 4 days but she is testing me for sure. Once she is actually asleep, there are not problems, it's getting her to sleep that is the hard part.

What I'm loving: Still nesting! Though I am really tired. 

Symptoms: I've had a pretty tough week. My OB diagnosed me with SPD - Pubic Symphysis Diastasis. The pain I've been having are attributed to that and they've been getting progressively worse. I'm still hanging in there, but I find being up and moving around is a lot better than sitting too much. I've had a lot of pain in my pubic bone and joint including popping and grinding. Sounds awesome, huh? Sleep is probably the worst. It's pretty painful to roll over, but I can't sleep on one side all night or my hips will get really sore. Also, my gall bladder is acting up, but that's par for the course from last time. I'm just on the border of that mental state of "I can't take this anymore." I love being pregnant for sure, but I won't say there aren't things that get me down!

What I'm looking forward to: Settling in as a family of 4. Seeing how Evelyn interacts with the new one. She is so sweet with her baby dolls, I hope she is as sweet to the new one!

Best moment of the week: Though it was rough, finally making the move with Evelyn. That opens the doors for me to get the crib and nursery back in newborn shape! I washed all my newborn diapers! 

#2: 34 Weeks

{I'm just being real, here, folks}

How far along: 34 weeks

How big is baby: A butternut squash. Baby can now recognize and react to simple songs. Less cute news: She now urinates about one pint per day.  

Weight gain/loss: At least 30lbs. We'll find out this week. I did love it when someone came up to me and said I looked small and that I'm "all baby!" Unless that equates a 10lb baby. Then, maybe not.

Stretch marks: I think I've got one emerging right below my belly button. It was inevitable. 

Sleep: I'd actually say a little better. I just got a new pillow, which is helping a bit as well as the fact that I'm wearing myself out and am so exhausted everyday that I can't help but sleep.

Diet/Cravings/Aversions: Desserts in general. Though, ice creams with bananas and chocolate syrup still sounds really good.

Movement: Slowing down a little I think but he/she definitely reminds me he/she is in there often!

What I'm worrying about: Transitioning Evelyn to her big bed. I've been working non-stop to get her room ready - hence the lack of posting - and I'm about there. I think the switch will happen sometime this week. Any tips on how to do it? I'm freaking out about it!

What I'm loving: Still nesting! Though I am really tired. 

Symptoms: A lot of hip pain. If I could have someone walk around squeezing my hips together all day, I'd be happy! Also, my gall bladder is still giving me a bit of trouble, but it's tolerable.

What I'm looking forward to: Holding this baby. Finding out if it's a boy or girl. As selfish as it sounds, maternity leave.

Best moment of the week: Date night with Rob! Though are we totally lame that we were home by 9? We just kind of ran out of things to do and were tired. Thanks, Mom, for watching Evelyn though!

#2: 33 Weeks

{ ^ 33 Weeks compared to 26 weeks  ^}

I know I shared the same pic last week for comparison, but I liked the idea of seeing the same shirt. Baby's definitely growing!

How far along: 33 weeks

How big is baby: A durian fruit (approx. 19.4 inches long and 4.4 lbs). Things are heating up inside as well: baby may grow up to a full inch this week alone and his brain is developing like crazy. Pretty soon, he'll be able to coordinate breathing and sucking and swallowing. Also, his bones are hardening and he's starting to keep his eyes open when he's awake. 

Weight gain/loss: At least 30lbs. According to the doctor's scale it's looking like about 33. So we've slowed down a bit, but still gaining. 

Stretch marks: I think I've got one emerging right below my belly button. It was inevitable. 

Sleep: Meh. I just can't get comfortable. I'm not going to lie, we just got the mattress for Evelyn's room and I'm very tempted to sleep in there. By myself. Without Rob or dogs. A whole full-sized bed to myself sounds lovely.

Diet/Cravings/Aversions: Ice cream with bananas and chocolate syrup. Mmm....

Movement: Still lots. This kid is very active! I'm working on getting it on video to share. But, I think he/she is still kind of settling into the same position Evelyn was in with his/her butt in my ribs.

What I'm worrying about: Again, just how quickly things seem to be going. Not much else though thankfully!

What I'm loving: Nesting! I am on a roll! I've pretty much purged the main level of our house. Evelyn's room is coming right along. The kitchen has been reorganized and I'm seeing progress toward my goals! It's wonderful.

Symptoms: Again, aches and pains. I'm pretty tired every night and have been going to bed earlier. My gall bladder has been a little cranky lately, but that seems to be due to baby's position more than anything.

What I'm looking forward to: Getting the dreaded big move to Evelyn's big girl room done. I'm terrified of how she is going to handle it and I just want it to go smoothly and to not affect her sleep too much. What am I thinking!?

Best moment of the week: I don't know if I could pinpoint a single moment. I'm just loving things right now. Evelyn is so sweet and is constantly giving hugs and kisses. Life is good! Can't wait to introduce another little person to this family.

Oh, wait, I take that back, I think we've decided on names! That is a good feeling. We're letting them settle for a few days but I kind of love them.

#2: 32 Weeks

{ ^ 32 Weeks compared to 26 weeks  ^}

How far along: 32 weeks

How big is baby: A squash. Ready or not, baby's getting ready to emerge. She's probably in the head down position with her bottom facing up. This is the comfiest way for her body to fit in your increasingly cramped womb and will make her eventual exit (only a few months away now!) much easier. 

Weight gain/loss: At least 30 lbs 

Stretch marks: I think I've got one emerging right below my belly button. It was inevitable. 

Sleep: A little improved this week though still not very restful. 

Diet/Cravings/Aversions: Sweeter things.  

Movement: I'm starting to feel very much like I did when I was pregnant with Evelyn. The kicks and rolls seem to be much in the same place with (what is hopefully) a little bum in my right ribs. Not much on the right side anymore. Hopefully this one doesn't stick posterior, but I'll take that over breech!

What I'm worrying about: Not too much. More than anything, the major changes that are coming and how Evelyn is going to cope with them. Also, how freaking fast time is going. I can't handle it. Slow down! I'm not ready!

What I'm loving: Decorating Evelyn's big girl room! Going through baby items. The nesting instinct. I've been accomplishing so much lately!

Symptoms: Still hip and pelvic pain. Just your typical 3rd tri aches and pains. Still loving being pregnant though.

What I'm looking forward to: Hopefully a nice date night with Rob soon. Also, just spending the next few weeks with my girl. I'm absolutely excited about meeting our baby, but I want to soak up every last second of her time as our only baby. She's so awesome right now. 

Best moment of the week: Finally making progress on Evelyn's room! Curtains are up and the bed frame is assembled. Now we need to get a mattress and box springs and do some finishing touches! I can't wait to share it. It's coming together nicely.

My Breastfeeding Journey: A Year and Beyond

When I got pregnant (well, before really), there was no question that I would be breastfeeding my baby. As with everything else I've done when it came to pregnancy and parenting, I researched and educated myself on everything breastfeeding related. I read blogs and articles. I watched YouTube videos. I took a class. I knew of all the benefits of breastfeeding and prepared myself to take every step needed in order to make our breastfeeding relationship successful. In fact, it was probably the one thing that worried me more than anything when it came to having a baby. I had no doubts about my abilities to birth a baby, but the anecdotes you read and hear about moms who didn't produce enough or the baby didn't latch, etc. were terrifying. I wanted this so badly. So, I prepared myself for the "booby traps" and hoped for the best. Here's a post outlining my adventures with breastfeeding in the beginning.

I thought, however, it might be helpful to someone to get an idea of breastfeeding beyond the typical beginning troubles. It seems that once you overcome those initial hurdles, it's just business as usual. But I know I still had questions along the way and I never imagined I'd be where I am now. Staring in the face of tandem nursing (dum, dum, duuuummmm....).

There, I said it. I never claimed there wouldn't be controversy in this post! I'm just sharing my experiences and what is working for us. That doesn't make it right for everyone, but it's right for my family and I stand by that.

Let me back up. Start from the beginning - and by that I mean after the real beginning. Things were pretty uneventful for the first 6 months. I was working part time and Evelyn took a bottle just fine while I was gone. I was pumping about 20 oz a day over what Evelyn needed and storing it "just in case." The end result when I finally weaned myself from the pump at about 7 months was a freezer stash consisting of about 3000 oz of breastmilk.

I was so lucky to have it. I was even luckier I didn't need it and was able to gift some of it to a friend. Evelyn was drinking it from sippy cups until about a month ago. Let's just say the the pump and I have a love-hate relationship. I was not sad to put that thing away.

At 6ish months, we started Evelyn with baby led weaning. She took to food extremely well.

{This picture cracks. Me. Up.}

No issues. I just kept nursing on demand and my supply remained perfect. I never experienced mastitis though I did verge on plugged ducts a few times that I had to work out in the shower and with nursing. Weaning from the pump was a rough few days. I went cold turkey and eventually my body adjusted though I did encourage Evelyn to eat just a little more at that time to relieve the pressure a bit.

I continued to lose weight and stuff my face with obscene amounts of food to compensate. I know, rough problem to have, right?

Then, came the day everyone warned me of. Evelyn started teething. And she bit me. It wouldn't be the last time, but I think my utter shock and scream scared her enough to not try it again right away. Thankfully, it never became a huge issue like I know some moms experience, but my best trick in dealing with it was to just pop her off and put her down. She would be mad at me and I would wait a few minutes, then let her latch back on and if she did it again I would repeat it. She seemed to get the hint pretty quickly. I was a little on edge for a little while during that time (I mean, who likes to get bitten?) and just as everything difficult with babies, that stage passed. She now has 10 teeth - two on top, four on bottom, and four molars - and doesn't cause me any issues. It is very true that when a baby is properly latched, the teeth won't be an issue. So, don't let anyone scare you when they say, "Just wait until that baby gets teeth!" Totally not worth the fear.

My goal was to make it to a year. At that point, I would play it by ear. Before getting pregnant, I used to hope that I'd have a huge oversupply and be able to wean her at 6 or 7 months and be done. Wow. Little did I know how naive I was being. How much I would just adore this relationship. How much it would mean to me to hold on to those precious baby moments as long as humanly possible. To continue to give her a little boost in immune protection and a way to comfort her when nothing else works. Not to mention the benefits to my body!

My first thoughts of weaning came when Rob and I started talking about when we would want to try for another. My cycle returned at 9 months postpartum and low an behold, I was ovulating. We weren't trying really and my cycles were getting progressively longer. So, I went ahead and made an appointment with my OB to see, more than anything, if there was something I could do to at least keep things regular without any other interventions that might affect my nursing relationship with Evelyn. Little did I know that at that appointment I was probably implanting. Five days later, I got a positive pregnancy test.

{Hello, baby #2!}

Well, I wasn't going to wean her just for that. I started researching nursing while pregnant and talked to my OB about it. There was no medical reason for me to stop and Evelyn certainly didn't magically stop benefiting from my milk when she turned one, so we kept going. She has slowly dropped herself to twice a day (and not always that) - morning and night. She sleeps through the night and if, on the rare occasion, she wakes up I do still nurse her.

I prepared myself for her to wean because of my milk changing with pregnancy, but she hasn't. I'm so amazed at my body. My milk is now almost completely back to colostrum and ready for the new one. It will continue to be tailored to the new baby's needs so there are no concerns there. I'm actually pretty happy because that means that Evelyn is getting some pretty awesome antibodies and such during the flu season.

So, what is the plan, then? Well, I don't know. Rob, at this point, is completely on board with us continuing. He knows the benefits and couldn't be more supportive and I love him for that. It's hard to say that I would never nurse her past 2 when I used to tell myself that I would wean at 7 months if my freezer stash were big enough to do so. I thought it was weird when moms would nurse their toddlers and here I am. I will certainly be setting boundaries when the new baby comes. His/her nutrition will come first. And I'm mentally preparing myself for the possibility that she could wean at any time. But, I think I'm just going to follow my gut. It's yet to lead me astray and I remain confident in my choices for our family. I also remain confident that I will not be nursing my daughter through college. So, for now, I'm just going to keep enjoying the peaceful moments and making memories of her waving at me and "blowing me kisses" while nursing. One day I'll miss it.

{A little vintage Evelyn from her first swim in April, 2012}

#2: 31 Weeks

{I actually like this picture!}

How far along: 31 weeks

How big is baby: A pineapple. Baby is going through major brain and nerve development these days. His irises now react to light and all five senses are in working order.

Weight gain/loss: At my appointment last week I was at 159. I think that makes a total of 30 lbs and somehow no real gain in the past 3 weeks over Christmas. I'm calming down a lot about my weight now. 

Stretch marks: None yet this time. But, I'm sure they'll come.

Sleep: Rough. I don't have problems falling asleep but I've been in a bit of pain overnight. My mattress seems to put a lot of pressure on my hips and sleeping with a pillow between my legs leaves me with a feeling like my pubic bone has been bruised in the morning. On top of that, I've been experiencing a popping sensation in my pubic bone for a couple of weeks now. This definitely leads to a restless night and a tired mama.

Diet/Cravings/Aversions: More sweets than anything. I still want some molten chocolate cake with ice cream and an ice cold glass of milk. 

Movement: Seems to be moving more toward those rolls and "alien" moves you get toward the end. Baby is in a different spot than he/she was last week though. I'm not sure if he/she flipped back over or what, but I'm not feeling the kicks in my right side so much anymore. There is definitely something hard in my right ribs. Hopefully it's a butt and not a head.

What I'm worrying about: There have been talks of layoffs again with my husband's job. That's always scary but it's in God's hands and I know we'll be taken care of. Getting everything done before the baby comes. Mainly finishing Evelyn's room and getting her switched over. I still have a lot of work to do around the house with organizing and purging. Hopefully we'll get it finished soon! I did get a big burst of energy and cooked a month's worth of freezer meals yesterday! Here's to a month of meal planning done. I hope it works out well and we stick to it. We spend way too much money on food because we don't plan well.

What I'm loving: Starting to get out and go through the little things again. Clothes, socks, diapers. There is nothing to get you going like looking at baby clothes.

Symptoms: A lot of hip and pelvic pain. General achiness. Everything else is great!

What I'm looking forward to: I feel like I've said this before and never have anything to show for it, but working on Evelyn's room. We have to get it done eventually!

Best moment of the week: My dr. appointment. I felt good about my weight and a lot better about my delivery plans. Now just waiting for the baby! Down to bi-weekly appointments! Yikes!

#2: 30 Weeks

Wait, what day is it? I got lost at some point over the past week and realized that I'm somehow late with not only Evelyn's 18 month post, but my 30 week post! Ack! I thought I was doing well!.

I might have to add a picture later.... Sorry folks!

How far along: 30 weeks (eek!)

How big is baby: An cucumber. As baby's skin smooths out, her brain keeps getting more wrinkled. All those grooves and indentations increase surface area, meaning more room for that oh-so-essential brain tissue. She's also adding some brawn - her grip is now strong enough to grasp a finger. 

Weight gain/loss: Not sure. At least 27 lbs. I'd say I'm definitely over 30 lbs by now. Deep breaths....

Stretch marks: None yet this time. But, I'm sure they'll come.

Sleep: Still sleeping all night but not feeling very rested. I usually wake up sore in the morning. That's par for the course though!

Diet/Cravings/Aversions: Nothing sticks out in particular. Although I did thoroughly enjoy some molten lava chocolate cake with ice cream. It was divine.

Movement: Tons of kicks on my right side. Still not 100% sure where he/she is at right now though.

What I'm worrying about: Just taking the time to enjoy this pregnancy and these last few months with Evelyn as my only. Big changes are coming, fast.  

What I'm loving: Everything. My little family. Being pregnant. Evelyn. I love it all.

Symptoms: Heartburn seems to have subsided just a bit. Some swelling and general achiness. Much to be expected!

What I'm looking forward to: Welcoming a new one to our family!

Best moment of the week: Christmas with my parents. It was a great time!