Purely. Simply. Love.

2 Months

2011-08-29T22:24:00.000-05:00

I have a feeling I am going to begin every single one of these posts thinking, "How has it already been another month already?" Here we are though, your 2 month birthday.

When I think about the past two months, all I do is smile. You've truly made my world perfect. I feel as though I was made for this whole mommy thing and you were made to be my daughter. You are changing every day. Growing and learning with such speed, I feel as though I'm going to miss it if I so much as blink.

You're smiles are becoming much more frequent and I LOVE them! You wake up with a smile every morning and it just makes me melt! However, capturing them still seems to be a little tough.

You seem to be finding your voice and are constantly "talking" while on your activity mat or are interacting with people. I think you'll start giving me little laughs soon!

You've rolled over a few times now, though still not really on purpose and always front to back.

You still love to be worn and we go for a walk almost every morning. You love bath time, but you're not so sure about tummy time...

You are getting on a better schedule and are beginning to take regular naps during the day. Additionally, you sleep so well at night! Hopefully I'm not jinxing things, but you sleep 7 to even 9 hours on a regular basis at night. We definitely have occasions when our nights don't go so well, but I can't complain!

I wish I could put into words just how much I love you and the profound impact you have had on our lives, but I know I couldn't even come close. So for now, I will cling to these moments of snuggles and the sweet baby smell knowing that you are going to grow up before I know it. And, hopefully you will know just how much you mean to me.

I love you more than anything.

Breastfeeding

2011-08-17T22:50:00.000-05:00

I have a feeling I may have quite a few posts dedicated to breastfeeding in the next year. The passion I have acquired for this over the past couple of months is amazing.

Let me preface this with a quick statement. I know (though I don't necessarily understand why) breastfeeding can be a controversial topic on the internet. It is not my intention to make anyone mad. In fact, I'll be one of the first to give thanks to whoever invented modern day formula. There are absolutely situations in which breastfeeding doesn't work and I thank God everyday for the ability to feed our babies - because that is what it all boils down to, feeding our babies. Without formula, I'm not sure my precious nephew would be here today. Oh, and I was formula fed. I feel no animosity toward my mother for it. Love you, mom!

However, there is absolutely no denying that "breast is best." So, just like every other decision I have made in the realm of raising my daughter, I am giving her what God meant for her to eat - breast milk. This is just a record of my journey. Something for me to remember it by. Also, I'm writing this in hopes that my troubles may help someone who is experiencing the same situations as I have.

So, where to begin? Let's start by saying that most anxiety I have felt in regards to becoming a mother has been on the subject of successfully nursing Evelyn. I was adamant that when she was born (no matter how) she would be given the opportunity to nurse. Even if that meant someone had to hold her to my breast for me. I didn't want to miss that initial bond. I know that babies successfully nurse without this, but it was important to me. Thankfully, I had an awesome birth and she was able to be skin-to-skin with me immediately after birth and I was able to try nursing. Except she wouldn't latch on. It terrified me, but my doula reassured me that it was okay. To just hold her close and try later. And, I did. And she latched right on.

The first night was scary as well. She pretty much slept the whole night. Of course, she was tired. Being born is hard work! Again, I was anxious. Was it okay? The nurse reassured me that we should try again later. And we did, and she latched on great.

Then, came the questioning. How long should she eat? Is it okay that she didn't take both sides? Is she getting enough? And, the pain. I'm a total perfectionist, type-A personality. I'm a math teacher, what did you expect? I needed things to be black and white. But, with breastfeeding, they just aren't. This must be my first lesson in motherhood. It's not black and white. There is no definite right or wrong. I think all of this anxiety is part of what led me to the eye-opening situation I needed.

About a week after Evelyn was born, I ended up in the ER. I was having what felt like heart arrhythmia's. And I was very close to feeling panic attacks. I called my OB and she told me to go to the ER to get checked out. This would begin the day that made up for the lack of crying I've done over my lifetime. If you know me, you know I don't cry. I don't wear my emotions on my sleeve. However, sitting in the ER with my week old baby being monitored for a heart issue was not what I wanted to be doing. I started crying. I cried because I wanted to go home. I cried because I didn't want my baby to be in the ER with me. I cried because I didn't know if something was wrong. Poor Rob, he didn't know what to do with me. So, they monitored me and couldn't find anything. The EKG was clear. The last thing to check for was a blood clot. This required a CT scan with a contrast dye. Then the world stopped turning. They informed me that I would not be able to nurse Evelyn for 24 hours. I shut down. I refused to think about it. And, I sobbed. I mean, sobbed. I've never sobbed in my life. I didn't really know what was happening. The emotional breakdown I was experiencing was nothing I'd ever faced before. And, I wanted my mom. She would know what to do, right? I mean, deep down I knew I had to get this scan, but the what-if's were awful. What if something happened and breastfeeding was over?

Of course my mom knew what to do. She marched right upstairs to the OB floor and brought down the lactation consultant I had actually seen that morning in regards to a painful latch along with a hospital pump. I will be forever grateful to the LC because she was my saving grace. She spent a solid two hours with me explaining how I could best go about the next 24 hours. How to bottle feed her. How to pump. When I could bring her back to the breast and what to do if there was an issue. All the while, she brought supplies for me to pump as much milk as I could. It turned out that this was what led to my discovery of my oversupply and why Evelyn's latch was so painful. I was much more engorged than I thought. I pumped 18 oz of milk for her - almost enough to last the full 24 hours! I had my test done (which was all clear) and we went home.

The next 24 hours was hard. To hear her cry and not be able to feed her was the worst. Granted, Rob loved to opportunity to feed her. But I wanted my baby at my breast. It was like someone was denying that instinct. Thankfully, after our 24 hours was up, she latched right back on and we've been going strong since.

That's not to say we haven't had our hiccups. She had caused some nipple trauma and I had some bleeding. It was super scary when she vomited most of what she had eaten up and it was bloody. It took me a panicked moment to realize what was going on, but once I did I felt better. Though, I did have some of the terrible mommy guilt about making her sick with my blood-tainted milk... :(

My biggest hurdle has been my oversupply.

This is where I get on my soapbox.

Yes, I have an oversupply. This can cause just as many issues as an undersupply. They may not be the same issues, but they are issues nonetheless. Yes, I am lucky to have a freezer stash. However, dealing with engorgement throughout the day sucks. Balancing pumping enough to keep from getting clogged ducts/mastitis and not so much to cause me to make even more is hard. I pump about 20 oz a day. I often have to pump before Evelyn can eat, because she can't latch on well. In addition, my engorgement leads to a forceful letdown which causes Evelyn to choke and cough at the breast and gives her a lot of gas. I don't get to experience peaceful nursing sessions. They are often 10 minutes of struggling to get her to latch on correctly and eat comfortably only to be followed by 20 minutes of burping and spitting up. So, I understand the hardships of an undersupply, but don't minimize my situation because I happen to produce a lot of milk.

This is where I get off my soapbox. :)

Like I said, the biggest hurdle is my oversupply. It has been such a struggle at times. I am so grateful to have my freezer stash (which is close to 800 oz right now). In fact, I hope to one day be able to donate what I don't use or won't need. Evelyn has struggled to keep up with my fast flow and she's getting better by the day. It has been a learning experience for us both, but I wouldn't trade this for anything.

I guess, as of right now, my advice would be to stick it out. When they say the first few weeks are the hardest, they are right. You can do it. Don't be afraid to seek help even though it may be hard to find. There was a time when nursing was so painful (toe-curling) that I had to call someone but I didn't know who to call. There are people out there who want to help you. They want you to succeed so don't be afraid to ask for help! And, it's okay to vent. Breastfeeding is not always enjoyable. Sometimes it's frustrating. I cried many times. But, it's so worth it for those few moments when your baby is content because of something only you can give her. I love watching Evelyn when she eats and places her little hand on my breast. Or when she is at peace after finishing. It is so amazing.

I have so much more I'm going to add to this, but I feel like it's gotten long enough. Feel free to ask any questions! I know I was rambling a little bit... :)

One Month

2011-08-08T22:15:00.004-05:00

**I know this is late, I wrote it almost 2 weeks ago and have been trying to get my pictures together to put in the post!**

If the speed this month has passed is any indication of what is to come (which I'm sure it is) I'm absolutely terrified! I am clinging to every last second of your tiny newborn stage because I know I will crave it as you get bigger. Just like every mommy though, I can't wait to watch you grow and learn.

You are so different even today than you were a month ago. You are much more alert and active. You love to watch things and your current obsession is the fan. Any fan will do. You will sit and watch it for 15 minutes at a time if you are content! You also love your ladybug rattle and tummy time! I know it isn't on purpose, but you have rolled from your tummy to your back 4 times already! I think you just wiggle enough to worm your way over.

You must love your mommy because you sleep very well! I usually put you to bed at around 11 and you sleep for 2 or 3 eight hour stretches. Sometimes you don't like to go back to sleep in your crib, but you're getting better at it. I've been trying to move your bed time back, but you aren't having any of that! You are so awake at night that bedtime before then is out of the question. We'll get there though.

You are so squeaky!! You grunt and squeak and make the cutest little noises when you are sleeping or playing. You've started cooing and you will gurgle sometimes. It's adorable!

I can't believe you are already outgrowing your newborn clothes! According to my scale you weigh around 10 lbs, which is two pounds higher than you were born. You definitely love to eat, though it has been a learning process for us both. I love this time though. I love being close to you and having this peaceful time to just soak you in. Sometimes it's hard though because you have a hard time eating and our peaceful nursing sessions turn stressful. But, we always make sure to make up those snuggles at other times of the day.

Just as I did when you were still in my belly, I'm soaking up every second. I can't wait to see how you grow and I am so excited for month 2!

Postpartum Recovery - What I wish I would have known

2011-07-28T15:15:00.000-05:00

As I mentioned when I discussed my birth plan, I spent a LOT of time researching labor and delivery. Thankfully, my labor and delivery with Evelyn were perfect. I got the med-free experience I wanted and I feel so much joy and peace when I think about the day Evelyn was born. It's such an amazing memory for me and I'll cherish it forever. In fact, there's a small part of me that can't wait to do it again. Crazy, I know, but I miss being pregnant (I knew I would) and that day was one of the best (if not the best) in my life. I digress...

In my time spent preparing for Evelyn's birth, I remained completely ignorant of the things to expect afterward. I mean, I would be so enthralled with my little girl, how could I possibly think about anything else? Oh how naive I was. To be completely honest, when I think about the pain of birthing a baby versus the pain and complete irritation of recovering from birthing a baby, I'd choose the childbirth over the recovery in a heartbeat.

So, I feel I would only be doing a disservice to my readers (especially those who follow because of baby info - I sometimes wonder how I still have followers since I'm such a bad blogger) if I didn't share this experience. And, I plan on being very candid. I don't believe in hiding details because they are not "appropriate."

I'll start from the moment recovery started. I distinctly remember asking my wonderful Dr. while in the throes of transition and on the verge of pushing if it would stop when she was born. She smiled at me and nodded and I had the encouragement I needed to keep going. She was a big, fat, liar (I say that lovingly). Evelyn came out and was laid on my chest and I began completely melting as I stared at her. A few minutes later I realized that they were still working on things down there. I had completely forgotten that I had to deliver my placenta as well and that wasn't so bad. A little push and it was out. I expected to tear, I expected stitches. I did not, however, expect the kneading of my uterus due to the blood clots that they were working out and working on getting some bleeding under control. Let me just say, that this was uncomfortable. I remember thinking, "Okay, I have my baby, you can leave me alone now. I'm done with this whole pain thing." I knew it was necessary though. Again, it was pretty short-lived.

Next came the getting out of bed. I can't really put it nicely, but my bum was SO SORE. I mean, many people refer to childbirth as pooping a watermelon (very politically correct, I know). Well, I felt like it. Standing up was... slow. Walking was... slow. I knew I needed to move around or I would just get stiffer. But, I'm not going to lie, it hurt. Of course, why exactly was I getting out of bed? To head to the bathroom. I knew I had to pee. The nurses wanted me to pee. But, no matter how I tried (which trying in and of itself is uncomfortable - mainly due to sitting on the toilet) I couldn't. The nurse was very patient, but after a while she suggested a catheter. Honestly, I was definitely afraid. Who wants a catheter? But, once it was done I was glad. It allowed me to go and be comfortable again. It wasn't pleasant, but I won't fight it next time.

Since we're on the topic of relieving oneself, let's talk about number 2. This was probably my greatest postpartum fear. I have a history of constipation (you really know everything there is to know about me now, don't you?) and I was terrified of the first postpartum BM. I tried to explain this to the nurses. They gave me a stool softener and I said, do you have something more. I know it will be difficult. Finally when hadn't gone the last day I was in the hospital, they agreed to give me Miralax. Thank goodness for this. I didn't end up having a BM until 3-4 days after I got home, but thankfully, due to the medications, it wasn't bad. My advice, don't deny the meds.

Now, onto the meds. I've never taken prescription pain killers. I don't know how I'd react to them, so when they offered me Percoset or Ibuprofen. I took the Ibuprofen. Again, everyone says to take the pain meds. But, I really didn't want to end up sick or loopy and the Ibuprofen seemed fine to me. And, next time, I'll probably stick with it. The pain was manageable. I was sore. What should I expect?

So far, this doesn't seem so bad, right? It was all expected. There was swelling and pain. I expected that. What I didn't expect was the irritation it would be after I got home. For a solid week, getting up and down sucked. I was sore. I just wanted to move again without pain. My tailbone was sore. My nether regions were sore. My legs were sore. I had broken blood vessels in my eyes from pushing which were making my contacts uncomfortable. I was STILL swollen everywhere and I desperately wanted to put my wedding ring back on. (I finally forced it on after 3 weeks).

Again, going to the bathroom sucked. I just wanted to go pee like a normal person again. But, after 10 months I was experiencing bleeding again (no woman I know likes that...) and I had to be careful when wiping, use my peri bottle to rinse which I had to refill with warm water every time. It just... sucked. A month later and I'm still bleeding slightly and using the bathroom still isn't completely back to normal. I'm so done with pads.

Oh, and showering? I have a thing about showers. I LOVE my showers. Rob knows this and has done a great job of making sure I get my "shower time" every day. But, I couldn't shower completely normally either. My nipples felt like burns because of breastfeeding, I couldn't clean myself the way I normally had. I was nervous about doing something that would irritate things. It's a lot better now, but again, it took a solid 2 weeks for things to get better and after going through such a physical and mental change in such a short period of time, I craved a sense of normalcy in my body.

Here I am four weeks later and I still don't feel completely back to "normal." I know that normal is going to be different, but my body still has some healing to do.

And, for a genuinely sappy ending... I'd do it all again in a heartbeat. I've been blessed with the responsibility of bringing this perfect little life into the world and caring for her and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Month 1 Must-Haves

2011-07-26T14:28:00.002-05:00

I know when I was pregnant, I found these posts to be extremely helpful. So, here's mine:

1. Definitely not applicable to everyone (and I'll be making a whole other post about my breastfeeding experience so far) but, my Medela Pump In Style Advanced.

I've had some over-supply issues and this has been a lifesaver. As much as I dislike pumping, it is efficient and easy to use. I'm really glad I forked out the money for it. And, FYI, if you are going to buy one, go to Cotton Babies. They have the best price! Also, keep an eye in all the "junk mail" you get from formula companies etc. There was a rebate for $15 off a pump in one of those kits! I'm waiting for my check in the mail.

2. "Cheap" cloth diapers to use as burp cloths.

I don't care where they are from or how much they cost, they are so easy and absorbent. Evelyn is a bit of a spitter and they have saved me from many changes of clothes.

3. Itzbeen

I really like having this. It's so easy to keep track of things, especially with Breastfeeding. I'm not always withing easy view of a clock and even if I am, I always forget what time it was that I looked at the clock. With this, I carry it with me everywhere (it has a little clip for around the house and the buttons lock so I can throw it in my diaper bag) and I just push a button. Super convenient.

4. Portable bassinet. (This isn't the one I have, but it's similar - internet picture)

A friend gave this to me to borrow and I've really enjoyed having it. I know it has a recall out on it, but the reasons, in my opinion, pose no risk to Evelyn, so I'm totally comfortable using it. It is simply a little bassinet that has a vibrating setting. It makes for a nice place for her to nap during the day.

5. Waterproof mattress cover. This has saved me from having to change her sheets about a million times. She spits up quite a bit and it's so much easier to change this than to take sheet off of the mattress! In fact, I need to go get a couple more because I'm washing them almost daily.

6. Moby Wrap

While I haven't gotten to use it as much as I'd like, I LOVE wearing Evelyn. Unfortunately, we're dead in the middle of a horrible St. Louis summer and it's just been too hot. I've worn her around the house a bit and she really likes it. However, I really look forward to being able to wear her out and about. Until it's no longer 100 degrees outside, I don't think that's going to happen... It's definitely been a life saver for when she's just in a mood and inconsolable. That doesn't happen very often, but when it does, I know exactly where to go!

I think that's it for now.

Hopefully, as I find time, I plan on some future posts on the following:

Postpartum Recovery - What I wish I would have known
The Beginning of my Love Affair with Cloth Diapers
My Breastfeeding Journey
Evelyn's One Month Birthday ::SOB::

Evelyn June's Birth Story

2011-07-19T19:47:00.000-05:00

Sorry if this is a little long and disjointed. It was all such a blur and I've been writing it in spurts. This is my initial take. I'm sure I'll find myself going back and editing and adding things as I recall more, but I wanted to share anyway. Also, my doula is writing her version for me and I'm anxious to read that!

Wow, I can't even fathom where to start. I had a feeling Evelyn would make her appearance very close to her due date when I started experiencing contractions about 10 minutes apart on Monday, June 27. They were not painful at all, just a tightening that was uncomfortable. This lasted for the next two days on and off. I was starting to get antsy, so on my due date I thought I'd see if we could get things going by practicing with my breast pump. Worked like a charm! I only used it for about 20 minutes and already was experiencing contractions less than 10 minutes, so I stopped. The contractions waned, so I got my pump out one more time before I went to bed and had the same results. I woke up to consistent contractions on June 30 at about 3:30 am. They were tolerable for sure, but definitely real. I knew we were in labor! I labored at home the rest of the morning and they were slowly getting closer together and I was having to breathe through them, though I could still walk and talk through them. I had an appointment with my OB at 9:40 that morning, so I thought I keep that and see what she recommended from there.

The car ride wasn't too bad, but definitely uncomfortable and I was talking to Rob about what he thought we should do about going to the hospital right away or not. I was a little afraid to go to the hospital too early when I could labor elsewhere. I got to my OB and she checked me and said I was at 3.5 to 4 cm. Woo-hoo! I had been at 2 cm and 80% effaced at my appointment the week before so I was happy that we made some progress and I wasn't experiencing the contractions for nothing. She said we could go to the hospital then if we wanted or go to the mall or a park and walk around to pass some time. We decided it was too hot outside to walk in a park and the contractions were uncomfortable enough that I didn't want to be "watched" at the mall so we headed to the hospital. It was about 11am.

I'm going to insert my little rave about Barnes Jewish St. Peters. They were AMAZING. Super supportive and not at all pushy. I got there and immediately got my room. They gave me the quick rundown of things and I signed papers and they put me on the monitor (20 min or monitoring is required every hour) and let me be for a while. During this time my mom and my doula arrived and we just managed contractions which were about 3 min apart by now. The nurse came back in and saw how well the baby was tolerating contractions and took the monitor off. She didn't come back for monitoring for another 2 hours, which I am so grateful for. It was hard to stay in a position that kept the monitor happy and me somewhat comfortable. I was also able to eat and drink as I pleased (although I vomited any food back up) and the nurses never once questioned it.

I walked the halls a bit and then I hopped in the jacuzzi tub (I LOVED, LOVED, LOVED the tub!!!) and labored there for a little while until my doula suggested I get out and move around a little more - I think it was about 3 or 4 pm at this point. Honestly, I had no concept of time at all during labor. I was amazed at how focused my body was and keeping my mind on working through the contractions which were definitely getting intense. I labored by leaning on Rob while my doula and mom took turns putting pressure on my back (I had back labor). The nurse came in and I asked to be checked. I wanted some idea of if I was making progress.Thankfully, I was at 7-8 cm! I then hopped back in the tub with some hope of getting a little relief. I was getting some "coupling" in my contractions (this is what my doula called them) and was really questioning myself at this point as I was lacking the much needed breaks between. I realized that I was hitting transition and that meant I was in the home stretch. The tub was, again, amazing. I just sat in it with the jets going and breathed through contractions while Rob just sat next to me. He was amazing. Just amazing. He seemed to know exactly what to do/say, exactly when to say it.

At about 6:00 I was beginning to feel pressure and knew I needed to get out of the tub to get things going some more. I wanted gravity on my side, so I was back to leaning on Rob. I would sit on the edge of the bed between and rest and eventually I just laid down on my left side and worked through them some more. I knew we were getting close as the pressure intensified, but I didn't feel like I hit that point where pushing felt "right." Again, I was so in awe of my body. I remember literally falling asleep between contractions. I would go from full-on focus and determination to complete rest and relaxation in a matter of seconds.

Finally, at about 6:30, the urge to push was making it's appearance. I had rolled over on my other side by now and started a couple of "practice" pushes. I had no idea if I was complete or not and no idea if I was even pushing correctly, but the nurses had fetched my OB and she was letting me go on my own. (BTW, if anyone is looking for a natural-friendly Dr. I would recommend my OB to anyone!!) I remember everyone just letting me do my thing. No one touched me except to give me a hand to hold or a cold washcloth on my face. About 15 minutes into pushing, my water broke (I should say exploded everywhere) and my OB said she'd be back in a few (I think she got a shower...). I was a little discouraged, but kept at it. Finally, the nurses said to fetch her again. When she returned I asked her if I was making progress and she looked at me with great encouragement and said yes, she could see a head of brown hair! I continued pushing and Rob just whispered in my ear that I was doing great and he was so proud. He was telling me that he could see more and more of her head with every push (I can't believe he looked!) and my OB encouraged me some more. Eventually, I started to feel the ring of fire and knew I had made it to the end. There was no question. I had to get her out (lol, I remember asking my OB if it would stop when she was out... she smiled at me and nodded). Finally, at 7:27 pm, She arrived and was laid directly on my chest. Rob told me that she was a girl and we all laughed because we'd been calling her a "he" for so long.

We spent the next hour bonding, attempting to nurse and just staring at our little girl. I finally realized that the nurses and never weighed her as they had just let us be while they cleaned up the mess (which apparently was a pretty big one as I ended up delivering "caddy-wompus" off the side of the bed, as my mom put it) and my OB took care of me. I had some blood loss and clotting and tore a bit (not sure how bad yet) and I honestly thought the massaging of my uterus and all of the "messing around down there" was more irritating that any bit of labor and delivery. The nurses finished and came to ask if I was ready for them to take her and check her out (they did all of this in the room) and I said yes. She was a perfect 8 lbs 2 oz, and 19.5 inches long. She had the most perfect round head and was just the most beautiful little miracle.

I couldn't believe it was over. I couldn't believe she was finally here and that I had done what I set out to do. We had finally reached the end of the road and could start our lives as a perfect little family. I couldn't have asked for anything more.

Introducing...

2011-07-10T22:45:00.001-05:00

The Nursery!

2011-06-22T10:35:00.000-05:00

I'm going to preface this by saying that I am by no means an interior designer. I stink at decorating, hence the fact that there is NOTHING on the walls (hey, I'm proud of myself for painting the walls something other than one color!). But, regardless, I'm still very happy with it!

Before:

During:

(I'm excited to get my cloth diapers up there after the cord falls off!)

(My stash of Puffalumps from my childhood... Love them!)

33-36 weeks and Our Birth Suggestion

2011-06-01T21:22:00.000-05:00

For some reason there is something scary about being 36 weeks. I don't know why. Technically, I'm still a month out but 36 weeks just sounds so final. SO CLOSE.

The most commonly asked question nowadays? "Are you ready for that baby?"

My answer? No.

Believe me, I can't wait to meet our little one - to find out whether it's a boy or girl, name him/her, enjoy being a little family. But, at the same time, I'm terrified. I'm not scared in the slightest of my ability to take care of a baby. I'm not even terrified of labor and delivery (Scared? Yes. Terrified? No.). What scares me most is the unknown changes that are waiting for me. I often find myself driving down the highway with Rob or sitting on the couch watching TV and thinking, "It's never going to be the same." I love this time in my life. I love being pregnant. I know I will love having our baby finally join us. And yet, I'm embracing every second of this life we have right now. I'm excited beyond words to be going on this adventure of parenthood but I'm not letting this time go by without enjoying it!

Let's talk about baby!! I had an ultrasound last Wednesday which revealed nothing more than an adorable little squishy that is healthy as can be. Baby is now the size of a honeydew!!

Still not much in terms of development aside from lungs and growing adorable baby fat. I'm glad to know that he is safe inside still perfecting his talents at living in the outside world.

As for me, I'm still hanging in there. I'm really not uncomfortable in any way except for my ribs. My poor, poor, ribs. There is pretty much a constant pain in my right side that this little one enjoys worsening by shoving his cute little butt where it really doesn't belong. Sigh... one day I'll miss it.

One slightly worrisome thing that presented itself during our ultrasound was the fact that baby is posterior. And, believe me when I say that he's been that way for WEEKS. I'm serious, this kid hasn't moved (except to stretch into my ribs) for probably 8-10 weeks. He's been head down (woo-hoo!), butt up, and posterior for a VERY long time. This is worrisome because of our plans for labor and delivery.

And... here goes...

I find myself shying away from discussing this with anyone since it is a controversial topic that EVERYONE has an opinion on. I'm being completely honest when I say that everyone is entitled to their opinions and how you choose to have your baby is up to you. So please don't look at me like I've grown a third eye when I say we want a natural birth.

There. I said it. We want a "natural birth." I actually like to refer to it as med-free. My reasons? Goodness, where to begin? Before trying to get pregnant I was certainly on the side of the fence that involved drugs. Good drugs. Then we started trying. And trying. And, well, trying some more. When you spend a year trying to get pregnant, that leaves a LOT of time to research. And, being the information hog that I am, I researched a lot of things (I can get lost on the internet for hours).

Ultimately, I concluded a few things about childbirth:

1. It is not a medical procedure. I am not sick and do not want to be treated as such. (In fact, we almost considered a home birth - gasp! - until I met my UNBELIEVABLE obstetrician. She's amazing. Seriously amazing.) Cliche as it sounds, women have been birthing babies since Adam and Eve. We were made for this. Our bodies are miraculous creations and know exactly what to do in order to make this beautiful event happen. Who am I to stand in the way of that perfection?

2. The intervention rate in childbirth in this country is outrageous. In fact, when I discuss this with many of my friends who have had/are having babies, the majority of them were induced or have planned inductions/c-sections. Many of which ended up in C-Sections. I am by no means a medical expert, and I do truly believe that there are situations where this is warranted (pre-eclampsia, growth issues, etc.), but this cascade of interventions terrifies me more than anything else. I guess what I'm trying to say is that this baby will make his appearance when he is ready. Again, who am I to stand in the way? If a problem presents itself, the health and safety of my child will always take precedence.

3. Our bodies are doing miraculous things even after labor and delivery are over and often times the interventions that hospitals are so quick to make stand in the way of this. The hormones that ultimately result in childbirth also work with baby and mom to encourage breastfeeding and bonding, among other things. I don't like the idea of medications affecting my baby during delivery and possibly afterward. I want that connection to be as pure as possible. How it was intended to be.

That being said, we've created what I like to call a "birth suggestion." It's not a plan, per se, since I know things can change and things happen. But, this is my way of saying, if everything goes "perfectly" this is what I'd like to see. It mainly boils down to a few things.

1. We will be having our baby in a hospital. We feel like this is the safest place and we have worked hard to make sure we are going to be surrounded by those who are supportive of our decisions.

2. I am excited that my Dr. is completely on board with maintaining my abilities to move throughout labor (walk, tub, etc.), drink fluids and eat as I see fit, and to ultimately deliver how I feel comfortable. I won't be continuously monitored and will basically be free to do as I feel my body is telling me to do.

3. I do not wish to have any medications including an epidural or IV fluids.

4. I want to be able to enjoy a time of bonding time with just Rob and I and the baby after he/she arrives. This means that there won't be any visitors until I (and Rob) am ready. We want the best chance at establishing a breastfeeding relationship as well as some quiet time to bask in the glory of our new little miracle.

That's pretty much it. We've put a lot of thought into what we want and we know that things don't always go according to "plan." But, we truly feel this is the right way for us. If anyone has questions or would like me to elaborate, I'd be happy to. I just didn't want to get all preachy. Like I said, I support those around me in the decisions they make regarding their labors and deliveries (as long as I don't feel it's reckless and endangering the baby) and only ask the same in return.

And finally, I promise I will be including a picture with my next post! I have a shower on Saturday and will surely get one then!

29-32 Weeks

2011-06-01T20:34:00.000-05:00

So... apparently I never posted this? I could have swore I did. Better late than never!

Well, I guess these posts have kind of become monthly.... I'm okay with that. To be honest, I don't find much worth updating from week to week aside from the insane growth in my midsection.

It's amazing how much can be taken for granted from day to day the farther along I get in my pregnancy. When I once saw movement as magical and would sit on the couch staring at my belly for what seemed like hours hoping to catch a glimpse of a little kick or jab, I now experience it so often that I notice more when there is no movement than otherwise. This is something I don't want to take for granted so on a daily basis (when I'm not fighting his feet/butt down and out from under my ribs) I make sure to take at least a few moments everyday to just enjoy spending this time with my little one.

Speaking of movement, I've experience hiccups for the first time! It took me a while to realize what it was, but once I did I just couldn't stop smiling. And, the movement in general has transitioned into "alien" movement. I don't get as many little kicks and punches. There are a lot of rolls and limb movement.

On to baby:

He's still gaining fat and is going through sleeping and waking cycles (though I haven't really noticed). Also, he's starting to flex his brain muscles and developing his nervous system and has developed his five senses!

How far along?: 32 weeks
How big is baby?: See above. ;)
Weight gain/loss?: 23 pounds
Stretch marks?: Sigh... yes. I've got a couple on my hips and have broken out in a slew of them on my lower abs. Such is life! However, does anyone have any experience with a postpartum girdle? Thinking about this to help things go back in place...
Maternity clothes?: Yep. All the time!
Sleep?: I feel like I sleep all the time and yet get no true rest.
Food cravings?: Nothing in particular
Gender?: Ask me on birth day!
Movement?: All the time! He's a little wiggle worm.
Belly button?: Outie all the way
What are you looking forward to this week?: Nothing in particular. Just remembering to enjoy every moment!

26-28 weeks

2011-04-07T17:43:00.000-05:00

What is it about spring that makes things so busy? Things have been pretty non-stop which is only making this pregnancy go by all the faster and to be honest, I'm getting a little scared!

I'M IN THE THIRD TRIMESTER!! Seriously? No, really, SERIOUSLY??? Where is this going? Where are the breaks at on this insane ride I'm on? This is going too fast. Don't get me wrong, I'm unbelievable excited (I couldn't possibly put it into words) to meet our son or daughter, but I'm not ready for this to be over! I LOVE being pregnant! I'm so enjoying this time in my life and am just soaking in every second I have. Every kick, every cramp, every ounce of indigestion.

Let's talk about baby!!

He's still an eggplant, according to my ticker, but more accurately is about 2 pounds and 15 inches long. Wow! My baby is getting so big! Development-wise, he's still just putting on lots of fat, developing his lungs, and practicing blinking. I have another ultrasound next Wednesday to make sure the cysts on his brain have disappeared and I can't wait to see him again.

As for me, over all I'm awesome. I realize I've never mentioned anything on the bad side I'm experiencing with pregnancy and I feel that's a little unfair, but to be completely honest, I'm probably one of the most laid-back pregnant ladies around. I didn't get a lot of symptoms that others get - major cravings, weird dreams, crazy mood swings. Rob tells me probably weekly that he's eternally grateful to have me as his pregnant wife. But, that's not to say I haven't had my moments. I'm definitely getting a little uncomfortable. I'm realizing the curse of my short torso and my ribs are very much protesting by the end of the day. Considering I have another 12 weeks or more until arrival, this can only get worse (yikes!). I got my first leg cramp the other night, but I managed it quite well. Unfortunately, my Dr. took me off my indigestion medicine, so I've been experiencing that lately, but it's not nearly as bad as I thought it would be (Thank you, LORD!). Also, my big toe is numb (maybe the shoes I wore the other day?) and I have a patch of numb skin right at the base of my sternum....

But, there's one more thing. I'm warning you, this is a little TMI. I'm an information junkie and spending a year trying to get pregnant definitely meant I was researching pregnancy stuff all. the. time. So, it stands to reason that I knew every pregnancy symptom out there, right? Wrong. I know about pooping during delivery, I know about hemorrhoids, I know about the constipation and crazy mucus and pretty much everything else under the sun. But, no one told me about the swelling. And I don't mean fingers and ankles, I'm talking about swelling in an area I never expected it. Let's just say that going from sitting to standing and vice versa is a little... er... uncomfortable. I shall leave it at that.

Before I write you a book, I thought I'd do my little Q&A:

How far along?: 28 weeks
How big is baby?: See above. ;)
Weight gain/loss?: 17 pounds (I'll have a better number at my appt. on Wednesday!)
Stretch marks?: Yep. But, not on my belly!
Maternity clothes?: Thank you very much!
Sleep?: Meh.
Food cravings?: Not really. I still tend to prefer sweet stuff, but not sugary sweet. More like natural sweet (honey, fruit, etc).
Gender?: We've decided on the following: I feel like it's a boy, but I'm fully expecting a girl.
Movement?: Still consistent and still loving it! It seems to be changing from jabs and kicks to rolling type movement though.
Belly button?: I'm officially calling outie after a first grader at school very loudly said, "I can see your belly button!"
What are you looking forward to this week?: My last ultrasound!

And, for your viewing pleasure... my belly! Taken today and compared with my pre-pregnancy belly.

Notice: 1) The outie and 2) Holy boobs Batman!!
Do not notice: My end-of-day-I-just-walked-the-dogs-after-getting-out-of-work hair. Thank you.

Still on the back-burner:

The Name Game
Nursery Decor
My Birth Suggestion (this will be long!)
The Fence Saga

23-25 Weeks

2011-03-15T22:24:00.000-05:00

Whoa, where did the past 2 weeks go? As of 25 weeks, which is officially tomorrow, baby will be the size of an eggplant!

According to my weekly e-mails:

23 weeks -

Baby's little face is fully formed...minus the baby fat, of course. The next task at hand for baby: sprouting two teeny-tiny nipples!

24 weeks -

Baby's skin is becoming more opaque as the fat starts to pack on. And, thanks to the formation of small capillaries, her newly thick skin is taking on a fresh pink glow.

25 weeks -

That oh-so-handy sense of equilibrium is kicking in, and baby's learning to distinguish right side up from upside down.

Since I had my montly Dr. appointment today, I thought I'd update my little questionnaire.

How far along?: 25 weeks
How big is baby?: See above. ;)
Weight gain/loss?: 17 pounds at my appointment today (ouch!)
Stretch marks?: I think I'm going to officially call this one a yes. Thought they are NOT bad at all, I've got them on my boobs. Hopefully they don't get much worse. Then again, I'm still not entirely sure since they seem to fade and darken throughout the day.
Maternity clothes?: Yep. All the time!
Sleep?: Hit or miss
Food cravings?: Still strawberries! I've yet to send Rob out to get me something I just couldn't live without. In fact, there's yet to be something I can't seem to live without. I just wish it didn't ALL look so good.
Gender?: No clue
Movement?: All the time! He's a little wiggle worm.
Belly button?: Still an innie, but I'm taking bets on whether it'll be an outie or just end up flat.
What are you looking forward to this week?: Nothing in particular. Just remembering to enjoy every moment!

My Dr. appointment went well today. Baby's heart rate was 150. I'm a little worried about something my Dr. talked about during my appointment. I've been taking a medication for acid reflux for several years now. I've never had any problems, aside from a little constipation. I was really excited to hear I could take it during pregnancy, because I'm absolutely miserable without it. Well, my Dr. mentioned about possibly coming off of it today. She said, she doesn't think the actual medication will hurt the baby, but it concerned about it blocking my body's absorption of calcium. Ugh.

Believe me, I'll be miserable with indigestion for the health of our baby, but when I say miserable, I mean miserable. She also expressed concern about the fact that I was never actually diagnosed with acid reflux and wonders if it may be something else, like a food allergy. I guess, it's not something I'm really worried about, but just another thing for my brain to turn over again and again, doing more mental harm than good. I'm going to cut down to every other day and hopefully try and ease off it. On a side note, how many Tums are safe to take in a day?

CD's - Not the Kind You Listen To

2011-03-05T21:56:00.000-06:00

Cloth Diapers. There, I said it. It's out there, I'll let you process for a moment. For a lot of my readers, the concepts of cloth diapering (CDing) is not foreign by any means. In fact, many of you do it. However, since my family and friends are also readers, I'm devoting a post to this topic that seems to turn a lot of heads and gives many people a reason to stare at me like I just grew a third eye.

Yes, we will be cloth diapering our little one. I, too, at one point was ignorant of the subject and also thought it was completely insane, but I'm going to say what I say to everyone who asks the inevitable "Why on earth would anyone do that voluntarily?" question: why not?

Rob and I have been blessed with the opportunity for me to stay home most of the time with our baby. I will have to work part time most likely, but the fact that I will be staying home means we are going to have to cut back on some things and budget wisely. Which brings me to reason number one on my list of why we have decided to CD our baby. Cost. Folks, there's no getting around it, CDs are cheaper than disposables. MUCH cheaper.

Check out this handy-dandy cost breakdown.

Big reason number two has to do with the effects on baby. I'm by no means bashing moms who use disposables. I'm very much a "do what makes you happy" kind of person. If CDing isn't for you? Great! I think you're still just as awesome as before. But, I can't deny the facts that CDs have their benefits beyond cost. There are many resources that prove that diaper rashes are more frequent in babies who are in disposables. Also, CD babies are more likely to potty train faster because they can feel the wetness. That's a plus for everyone involved!

CDs being environmentally friendly is an upside as well. I'm not going to go off on some organic, tree-hugging speech about loving our earth. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not as "crunchy" as they come, but I don't deny opportunities to take care of this gorgeous planet that God has given us. I recycle everything I can, I make some of my own household cleaners, and try my best to do what I can. So, the fact that I won't be sending thousands of diapers into a landfill over the next few years does make me a little happy inside.

So, now that I've explained my reasoning behind it, I'm going to dive into the decision-making part. CDs are EXTREMELY overwhelming. I still freak out a little bit when I think about it. Let me just say, they aren't what they used to be. There are basically four types. Prefolds and covers (closest to what were used when we were babies), All-In-Ones (AIOs), All-In-Twos (AI2s), and Pockets. This is, in my opinion the most basic breakdown. There are definitely different sub-categories, but I think they all land in these four somewhere.

They cover a wide range in terms of cost with Prefolds being the cheapest and AIOs typically being the most expensive. We will be going the AI2 route. I truly hope we've made the right decision but I'm totally at peace with our choice. We will be using the BumGenius Flip Diaper system.

This system consists of an adjustable cover (can you see the little snap that's right in the center?), which means it will grow with baby, and an insert. You can use prefolds as inserts, the insert pictured (which also grows with baby) or they sell an organic insert. You can get this diaper with a snap closure or an aplix (velcro) closure and it simply works by laying the insert into the cover and snapping it on. Here's an video on how they work (not the best of quality, but it works):

We will be getting the snap closure simply because I feel like it will last longer and the pictured insert.

There are a few basic "buts" that I hear when I first go into the CD description.

1. "You realize you'll have to scrape poop, right?"

Yes, I do realize that. But, hopefully this won't be much of an issue in the beginning. We plan on exclusively breastfeeding for the first 6 months (if we are blessed enough that this works for us!) and breastfed baby poop is super CD friendly. It's water soluble, which means that there is no scraping involved! You can just throw the whole diaper, poop and all, in the wash and you're done! Now, when we start solids, there will be poo-scraping and, honestly, it doesn't really bother me. I'm sure I'll deal with much worse things than my own kid's poop and to me, it's a small price to pay. Also, did you realize that you are supposed to scrape poop out of disposables as well? Just thought I'd throw that out there.

2. "You realize you're going to have to wash them, right?"

This is kind of my penance for getting to stay home, lol. I'll probably do a load of diapers every 2-3 days, and I'm sure that won't even compare to the laundry that is going to be produced by baby in other ways. I'll deal.

3. "What about babysitters? Will they have to do CDs for you?"

We'll definitely be compromising here. My wonderful mom has said she's fine with it if she ends up watching the baby at times. But, I'll probably keep some disposables on hand for the occasion when someone is truly uncomfortable with it. But, if you really think about it, it's not that much more work for them than a disposable. They don't have to do anything with the dirty diaper but put it in a wet bag for me to take home and wash, and I think the Flip system is a pretty simple diaper to put on.

I think that's enough information to throw at you for now. I'm sure I'll have plenty to say in other posts (including what we'll be doing while baby is too little for the Flips and reviews on CDs), as this only scratches the surface, but, be honest, it's not as bad as you thought, is it?

Please feel free to throw questions out there and I'll answer them as best as I can!"

Why I'm Angry with my OB (well, not anymore)

2011-02-28T16:32:00.000-06:00

It's amazing how much your relationship changes with your OB after you get pregnant. This person goes from a dreaded once-a-year torture-bearer to your best friend. I found my OB's office long before I got pregnant. To be honest, I didn't really search very much, I just looked up who took my insurance and went from there.

I ended up finding an office that I really liked and made my first appointment with my new Dr. This appointment is kind of my beginning marker of our journey through trying to conceive as I went to her to put an end to my 99 day cycle (I cringe just thinking about it). I saw her through three cycles, two with Clomid, until we moved on to our amazing RE. When I finally came back to her, I was pregnant!

I had had many conversations with her regarding my feelings on labor & delivery. She was totally on board with my feelings and opinions (more on that in another post) and I was happy. I hadn't felt that bond that a lot of women talk about when they refer to their OB, but I figured it was because I hadn't actually had a baby yet. Then, at my 16 week appointment she proceeded to tell me that she was moving offices! Needless to say, I was a little shocked and, to be honest, a little angry. I chose her partially because she delivered at hospitals that were close to my house and now she was picking up and moving to another hospital 40 minutes away!

So started my dilemma. Do I stay? Or do I go? I was really struggling with this and several other decisions that we were making at the time (January was a pretty hectic and stressful month) and was just frustrated about the whole thing. Well, after Rob and I decided it was time to start interviewing doulas (again, more on that later) we heard from several of them that my Dr.'s partner was EXCELLENT. I heard nothing but glowing reviews about her and so I decided I should at least give her a chance. So, I changed my next appointment so I could see her instead of my current Dr. Much to my chagrin, I had to push my much-anticipated big ultrasound off another week, but I am SO GLAD I did.

I am in LOVE with my new Dr. She is absolutely perfect in every way. I feel so comfortable with her and I couldn't be happier with my decision. She's been super helpful and supportive. I love that fact that she has paid to put several of the nurses at the hospital she delivers at through doula training and how completely her beliefs match mine.

So, I'm not angry with my OB anymore. And, I have yet another occasion of proof that God truly does have a plan.

22 Weeks

2011-02-27T20:59:00.000-06:00

Baby is now the size of a... Papaya!!

Fruit size no longer changes weekly. So, we're going to stick with the papaya for about a month.

Watch what you say -- baby is now able to hear outside noise from down in the womb. Studies show that baby finds gentle music and your own voice most soothing. Nipples are starting to sprout, and that little face is fully formed. And, baby's starting to settle into sleep cycles, snoozing about 12 to 14 hours a day.

I'm still feeling great! I think I must be the luckiest pregnant lady around. I try not to let things bother me and that makes me super happy! I've had some stretching pains this week and I'm beginning to wonder if my belly button will end up an innie or an outie. I'd say the only thing I can complain about is my frequent trips to the bathroom. I joked that I should just put my desk at work in the bathroom since that's where I seem to be spending most of my time. It's kind of frightening to know it's only going to get worse.... My maternity clothes are starting to fit much better now. I don't look like I'm drowning in them at least! Baby is moving around all the time still and I love every minute. I think he's still small enough to be somersaulting and I think he flips between breech and head down often. I sometimes will feel him tap dancing on my bladder and other times I feel the taps way up high. Speaking of way up high, I feel things much higher up with each passing day. It's amazing to think about this tiny little being in my belly! I'm so blessed.

Here I am a 22 weeks! No, this is not actually what a wore out of the house today. It's a pair of leggings and the most amazingly long cami from H&M. They were under a dress.

And... a little hint of the first baby project I'm working on...

Onesies for a Math Teacher's Child

2011-02-24T21:17:00.000-06:00

I'm in love with these:

Personal Fave.

Ha. Heh. Hee. Ho. This is SO corny...

(10 Points if you know what this says!)

Not that my mom actually makes a lot of pie, but still cute.

I'd kind of like to make this into t-shirts for my student IRL...

I have a poster just like this in my classroom.

I think I've asserted enough of my nerdy side for one day... ;)

20 & 21 Weeks

2011-02-19T14:23:00.001-06:00

WE ARE HALFWAY THERE!!!

I can't believe that I'm halfway through this pregnancy. I am so extremely excited and I can't wait to enjoy the rest of it. I am one happy pregnant lady!

Let's talk about baby!

20 Weeks

Baby gulps down several ounces of amniotic fluid every day, both for nutrition and to practice swallowing and digesting. And, these days, those taste buds actually work! Studies show that after birth, babies respond best to tastes they've already had via amniotic fluid. Meaning, think about what you'd like your future child to eat as you prepare your own lunch.

21 Weeks

Baby's digestive system is busy creating meconium (a tarry black substance made of swallowed amniotic fluid, digestive secretion, and dead cells), which will fill the first diaper after birth. And, if baby is a girl, her womb is now stocked up with her lifetime supply of six million eggs (the number will drop to around one million by birth).

I'm still feeling pretty awesome. I have to admit, I feel kind of huge for only being 21 weeks, but I don't have much of a torso, so the only place this baby can go is out. I'll take it though, I LOVE my bump. I've been having some hip pain, but nothing terrible and sleeping is definitely sporadic. I get really good sleep one night and really terrible sleep another night. It's times like this where I wish we would have forked out the money for a king size bed. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I can't stretch out like I want to.

I figured this would be a good time to update my Q&A:

How far along?: 21 weeks
How big is baby?: See above. ;)
Weight gain/loss?: 8 pounds at my appointment on Tuesday
Stretch marks?: Still none, though I have marks on my boobs that freak me out a little occasionally. I don't think they are stretch marks
Maternity clothes?: Yep. Most pre-preg shirts are out because they are too short and pants must be unbuttoned with the belly band or maternity!
Sleep?: Hit or miss
Food cravings?: Fruit! I'm loving strawberries. I think I'm craving naturally sweet things.
Gender?: Everyone says boy right now...
Movement?: All the time! He's a little wiggle worm.
Belly button?: Still an innie, but getting shallower by the week.
What are you looking forward to this week?: I already got what I was looking forward to: an ultrasound!

Speaking of ultrasounds... we got to see our baby again this week!

I have kind of mixed feelings about our ultrasound for a variety of reasons. First, I'll update on the baby. He's measuring right on track! All of the organs, etc. are looking great. It's such a relief to know that he's doing well in there. There was a moment that scared me a little when the Dr. said that we need to come in for a repeat ultrasound in April. Apparently, there are cysts on his brain. She said these are very common and 98% of the time they resolve themselves, but she just wants to make sure that does indeed happen. She said not be worried, so I'm not. Well, trying not to be. I won't deny that it pops into my head and the what-if's start going, but she didn't seem worried and I don't have any gut feelings that I should be worried to. So, I'm just going to rest in the fact that we are growing a healthy baby!

My other disappointment came from the ultrasound in general. I'm almost tempted to call and complain about our ultrasound tech, but I think a lot of this may just be hormones with a bit of selfishness mixed in. We were SO EXCITED about our ultrasound and got to the office really early. We were called back and she started everything. She said she was going to go through and take some measurements and then give us some pictures. She did her thing for about a half and hour not saying ANYTHING. So, finally I started asking questions, you know? What am I looking at? I could get an idea, but occasionally I wasn't sure and wanted to know. Then she yelled at me! She told me not to talk to her because I was causing her to lose concentration and she couldn't remember which measurements she had gotten and still needed to get. I was a little taken aback. So, I shut-up. Then she spent about 5 minutes trying to get a profile shot, printed it off, and sent us on our way. I don't know, I was just really disappointed and felt like I walked out of there without really having gotten any time to connect with my baby? Does that make sense? I mean, I was really wanting to interact with him and get to know him and without her to talk to me and give us some quality time I felt like I was just staring at a screen for no reason. I mean, I knew we were looking at our baby, but, I don't know. I'm disappointed.

On a happier note, Rob finally got to feel the baby move!! He was so excited!

Also, I've got some updates on some posts in the works. More to come soon!

Boy? Girl? Bald-headed Squirrel?

2011-02-07T13:35:00.000-06:00

Remember when you were a kid and out jump-roping on the playground? You always jump-roped to some sort of crazy rhyme and over the years they evolve with the upcoming generations creating new versions that leave you thinking, "What happened to the good-old days? When all Cinderella went upstairs for was to kiss a fella?" I won't go into what changes I've heard to that song from random children on playgrounds but, one that's sort of cracked me up and has been an ongoing joke between my teacher colleagues is the one where "Mama's gonna have a baby." Remember that one?

Well, when I was a kid, it went something like this (with my adult-brained interjections included):

Fudge, Fudge, call the judge, Mama's gonna have a baby. (Why are we calling a judge? And who is Fudge? Is Fudge even a person? Or is that a form of a word that we weren't allowed to say in which case I was too naive to know any better?)
Wrap it up in toilet paper (WHAT!?!?!?!?)
Send it down the elevator (Uh.....)
What do you think it was? (Sheesh)
Boy? Girl? Twins? Triplets?
Repeat.

Okay, now that you've actually read and remembered the little rhyme we all used to jump-rope to and have processed it with maybe as much shock as I did when I really actually thought about what I was chanting when I was 7, I'll let you in on how this one has evolved on our playground. It's really quite simple. Could it be a boy? Maybe. Could it be a girl? Maybe. But, twins and triplets have been nixed off the list and replaced with the fantastic image of a bald-headed squirrel.

How on earth does this relate to my baby? Well, the kids all ask me what my baby is and I usually responded with a simple, "It's a surprise!" Then, one day, I remembered this chant from the playground and decided that Since it's unknown whether it's a boy or girl at this point, it is a bald-headed squirrel. Needless to say, I immediately regretted my decision as it took me approximately 7 minutes and 32 seconds to regain control of my library. True story.

In all seriousness, one of the first questions people ask is whether we're going to find out the sex of our baby.

Our answer is simple. No.

These conversations usually proceed along the lines of either: "Why?", "I could never wait to find out, I don't know how you'll do it.", "That's not fair! How will I know what to buy your baby?", etc.

My response is also simple. "Because we want to.", " I'm a patient person.", "Too bad.", etc.

There are many reasons why the sex of our baby is going to remain a mystery, and believe me, it was a topic of great discussion. Mostly, it boils down to the fact, that we don't want to miss out on that moment of announcing "It's a _____!!!" to all of our surrounding friends and family and even to ourselves the moment our little gift arrives. We've thought about just finding out ourselves, but goodness knows that information WILL slip my lips at some point in time, so we're just going the old-fashioned way.

Like I've said before, I'll probably refer to the baby as a "he" on the blog because "it" just doesn't sit right with me and I haven't given him a creative name to otherwise go by.

Do I have any inklings? No, although I find myself saying that the baby will probably be a girl simply because I've always imagined my first baby as a boy and everyone knows just how much little girls terrify me. But, we currently have a battle of grandma's (well, I guess great-grandma's) going on (both of whom have never been wrong) one of which says our baby will be a boy and the other swears a girl. As for me and Rob, we are content to just sit back and enjoy the ride with images of holding the most beautiful baby in our arms - boy or girl.

19 Weeks

2011-02-05T16:57:00.000-06:00

What a week! Not much to update on baby, but we've had quite the winter storm here in St. Louis. After being trapped in the house for two days, we got the nursery painted!! Update to come later...

This week, baby is the size of a mango!!

It's so hard to believe that our baby has already grown so much. I'm getting so excited about the things we have in our future, it's just so amazing. Aside from the development of vernix caseosa (or as Rob's family calls it - cottage cheese) there's not much new with baby this week. Since most of his major organs/systems/etc. are already developed, he's going to spend a lot of time just growing now.

As for me, I'm great! I've got some awesome energy and the baby is moving like crazy. I absolutely love to feel his little kicks and wiggles. I've actually started to be able to feel it and see it from the outside now, but Rob hasn't seemed to be around at the right moment yet. Soon though, I'm sure! I've definitely had some major pregnancy gas (TMI, I know) and sleeping seems to make me a little stiff. I definitely don't get the full night's sleep I used to, but I'm sure it's only going to get worse!

We've also made some really good progress on some decision-making which I'll share with you later.

Until then, here I am at 19 weeks!

18 Weeks

2011-01-27T21:07:00.000-06:00

Wow. Just wow. I can't believe we're already at 18 weeks! That's almost HALF WAY!! Where does time go? I've got some exciting updates for this post though.

Let's talk about the baby!! He is now the size of a sweet potato! Personally, I LOVE sweet potatoes, so this particular comparison to produce makes me happy!

At a whopping 5.6 inches and 6.7 oz, baby is becoming amazingly mobile, passing the hours yawning, hiccuping, rolling, twisting, kicking, punching, sucking, and swallowing (so cute!).

And guess what? I've started to feel these movements! I get little "taps" or "flutters." He seems to be responding to noises and I feel quite a bit of movement when I sit down and play the piano. I try to make it a point now to play for baby as often as possible! It's the most amazing feeling and I relish every last one. I actually find myself laying awake at night just hoping for another little wave from our baby. It makes me so happy!

In three weeks (I had to move my appointment back), we'll get to have another ultrasound! I can't wait to see him moving around on the screen and another little check to make sure everything is okay.

As far as I'm concerned, I still have zero complaints! I love being pregnant! One thing I've seen posted on other blogs about pregnancy is a little Q&A that sums a lot of things up quite nicely. I'm probably not going to post every question every week, but I will this first week and kind of update it as the we continue traveling along.

How far along?: 18 weeks
How big is baby?: See above. ;)
Weight gain/loss?: Last I checked, 3 pounds
Stretch marks?: None so far!
Maternity clothes?: Occasionally. I can still fit into some of my regular clothes, especially shirts. But I definitely have to make accommodations for pants! I wore my first full maternity outfit last week.
Sleep?: Not too bad. I don't sleep as soundly as I used to. I've started sleeping with a pillow between my legs which helps with pains that sometimes wake me up in the middle of the night.
Food cravings?: Nothing in particular. But, I have my moments.
Gender?: La, la, la. I'm not telling! (Not like I know or anything)
Movement?: Finally! It's getting more and more frequent. LOVE IT!
Belly button?: I definitely think I see more of it now and it's stretching a bit, but undeniably an innie.
What are you looking forward to this week?: More Movement!

Oh and let's not forget the bump. I have to confess that this one is probably a little exaggerated as I had literally just eaten dinner. Look, just look! My boobs are not bigger than my belly in this picture! YAY!!

The State of the Breast Address

2011-01-25T19:28:00.000-06:00

There are a few things that are certain to grow with pregnancy. Of course, for some women, this is a positive. But, for women like me - those already blessed with a chest - it's really a pain in the, well, back. So, if you don't want to hear the woes I have regarding my ta-ta's you may want to come back another day.

If there's one thing about myself that I can verifiably say is good, its my figure. Sure, there are things I don't like, such as the ease I have in gaining weight in the dreaded "pooch" area, but I really can't complain. I have that perfect hourglass shape. My chest measurements have almost always matched my hip measurements with a nice smaller waist in between. Also, the beautifully sized and shaped breasts I've been blessed with came on slowly. So, no stretch marks, great girls. However, being well-endowed isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Let's start with clothes shopping in general. Finding dresses, shirts, swimsuits, any top in general, is a big game. Will they fit? I'm often jealous of those cute little girls with their cute little boobs in their cute little sundresses that I never in my wildest dreams would be able to pull off. And bras? Ha. I actually get amusement going to Victoria's Secret and having them ask me if they can find a bra for me just so I can tell them that they shouldn't bother because, at a 32DDD/F (yes, I know) they don't carry my size. I've been ordering my bras (for ridiculous amounts of money) from the UK for years.

Now that I'm pregnant, my difficulties have just grown. I do have to say that maternity clothes are awesome because most of them naturally give more space. But, I've already started my search for maternity/nursing bras. Unfortunately, my go-to, always-been-there-for-me UK supplier doesn't really have many options. So, I began my pity party. And, while I was busy lamenting, they kept growing. And then started the headaches which were caused by the extra weight I was carrying in my chest. I've been watching with dread as I expect stretch marks to pop up anytime. And, as silly as it sounds, I almost feel like I've been cheated in enjoying my belly because my boobs are stealing the show! I've had three people say that they knew I was pregnant before I said anything because my boobs gave it away. In fact, one actually asked me if I had gotten some work done! Eek!

Fast forward to a trip to Cotton Babies (aka my new all-time favorite store) where I decided on a whim to give their bra section a glance. And lo-and-behold, the heavens opened and the angels sang as I found not one, not two, but THREE bras in my size!!!! Oh. Em. Gee. I wasn't even sure a 32 H/I even existed. And, the best part? They won't cost me the first born child I'm carrying!!

If you want to check out the blessed company whom I'm currently considering setting up a shrine in my closet to (I kid) go here! It's pretty freaking awesome. Can you tell I'm happy? Good, I got my point across.

Am I happy with the state of my breasts? Not by a long shot. But, at least now I can live with it. Now I can worry about what they will look like in the aftermath and possibly consider starting a fund to pay to put them back to their original state of glory after I'm done making babies. Eek.

The Catch-Up Post

2011-01-20T13:36:00.000-06:00

Okay, here goes. Weeks 7 through 17. I haven't kept up with these weekly posts, mainly because I really didn't feel like it was real. Like there was nothing to show people. Now that I'm writing this post, I'm realizing just how much there is to catch up on. Baby has done a LOT of developing in the last 10 weeks and I think it's safe to say I finally have a bump! More on that later. Let's talk about the little person that has happily made a home with me for a while.

All of this info comes from the Bump and it's pretty neat to think about how much our little one is developing and changing week to week.

Our baby has gone from being the size of a blueberry at 7 weeks to now being the size of a vidalia onion! He (I say he because I don't like referring to my baby as "it") has formed all of his limbs, organs, and bones. Tooth buds are in place, fingers and toes are wiggling, eyes are in place and can sense light, and ears are hearing. It is now known whether he is a boy or a girl, but we will not be finding out! We have gotten to hear the heartbeat twice (one was 167, the other 158). I have crossed the magic threshold into the 2nd trimester and feeling great!

More specifically, this week baby is around 5 inches from crown to rump and weighs about 6 oz. His skeleton is hardening and he is growing fat! Most amazingly, his fingerprints and toe-prints are starting to form!

This is me at 17 weeks! Holy baby bump! This was the first day I actually wore a full maternity outfit. Love it!

And, as I'm writing this, I'm realizing that the many things I'm wanting to say in this post really deserve posts of their own. So, coming soon:

The State of the Breast Address
Boy? Girl? Bald-headed Squirrel?
Why I'm Angry with my OB
The Name Game
CD's - Not the Kind You Listen To
Nursery Decor (This will probably be more like a series of posts)
My Birth "Suggestion"

Until then, I'm going to go and enjoy my snow day! We got about 10 inches last night!

Something to hold you over

2011-01-17T17:34:00.000-06:00

Someone shared this with me and I thought it was pretty hilarious. Rob didn't find it quite as amusing, but I thought it would be good to hold you over while I complete my catch-up post for weeks 7-17. Coming soon!

6 Weeks

2011-01-09T13:56:00.000-06:00

There's something about "6 weeks." Not really sure what, but it feels like a milestone.

My baby is the size of a sweet pea!

According to thebump.com, our baby is "Growing like crazy, baby is starting to sprout eyes, ears, nose, cheeks, and chin. Those little hands and feet -- still webbed like paddles -- might wiggle by week's end, the heart is beating (almost twice as fast as yours!), and blood is starting to circulate."

That's so crazy! It's just miraculous and I can't help but smiling about it. It's slowly becoming a reality. We FINALLY get to have our first ultrasound on Sunday and I am so excited. I'm kind of nervous as well. The what-if's are hard at work in my head, but I'm just trying to relax and enjoy every minute of my pregnant bliss.

Unfortunately, morning sickness has slowly made an appearance over the last week. It's tolerable most of the time and comes in waves. I'm learning how to adjust and keep the nausea at bay. I did learn to NEVER take my pre-natal vitamin in the morning. That was a BAD day. Fortunately, I've yet to actually lose it, but I came pretty close! I've also outgrown all of my bras (which is unfortunate, because I JUST bought some). I'm holding off on buying maternity/nursing bras as long as possible. I'd hate to spend the money on something just to outgrow that as well. Other than the morning sickness, I haven't really had many other symptoms. I seem to enjoy a nap in the afternoons more than usual, but honestly I feel more energized than before I was pregnant when I am awake. Hopefully that sticks around. I'm getting a lot done!

We've started thinking about nursery decorations and I'll be making a whole other post on that later! Also, in case you were wondering, we do not plan on finding out the sex of the baby. We want to be surprised. So, we're trying to be as gender neutral as possible.

The boys are wanting to make an appearance in their shirts. Considering they were an integral part of the announcement, it's only fitting that they get some face time. ;)

And finally, this week's picture. Obviously nothing to show yet but bloat. But I even feel like that is better than it was last week. I can't wait for my baby bump to appear!

4 Weeks

2011-01-02T18:11:00.000-06:00

I wrote this post right after we found out we were pregnant. I have a one for week 5 and 6 and I'm going to make one big post for the weeks between then and now. Enjoy!

Wow. Just wow. That's all I can really say. I'm PREGNANT!! I'm approximately 4 weeks 3 days. It's still very early, but I want to get an early start on my weekly posts. I apologize if this is going to turn into "just another pregnancy blog," but after spending so much time (and money!) to finally get to this point, I'm going to bask in the glory of it!

So, here we go!!

I guess I'll start with exactly how we got here. You can read the entirety of my infertility journey here. But, I'll go ahead and chronicle the cycle that finally did the trick. It started just like every other cycle (I'll spare you the details). I went ahead and gave my RE (who's awesome BTW) a call to let him know where we were at and to see what the plan was for this cycle. Since in my previous cycle I hadn't responded to the 150mg of Clomid, he said we were going to up it one more time to 250 mg and an IUI (intrauterine insemination) before moving on to another plan of action. I set out with (kind of) high hopes and the positive outlook my RE always seemed to be able to give me. The Clomid was fine, just like every other cycle - no symptoms - until the last day. Then I started getting "tracers" in my vision and knew for sure this would be my last cycle on Clomid. Luckily I finished the medication for the cycle and we continued on our merry way. My window for ovulation came and went with no signs of success - another failed cycle. I called my RE to let him know and he asked me to come in for an ultrasound. They found one large follicle on my right ovary that my body didn't want to release. So, he prescribed me Ovidrel (a shot of HCG to trigger ovulation) and we scheduled the IUI for two days later. The IUI also came and went and we began the wait. THE LONGEST TWO WEEKS EVER.

Finally, I caved. I wasn't supposed to test until Wednesday. But, it was Monday morning and my temperature was still high. In fact, it shifted upward again. I couldn't wait any longer. So, I tested. And, lo and behold, the test said "Pregnant." See?

My first positive pregnancy test. I was shaking. I didn't know what to do with myself. I took a couple of laps around the house and tried to wrap my head around it. Then, I had to tell Rob. I already had it all planned out. I had made t-shirts for our puppies and they said, "Future Big Brother" and "Future Bigger Brother" on them. So, I put my plan in place. Rob's reaction was priceless. I'll never forget it.

This was one of the happiest days of my life. I can only imagine what it will be like when we finally get to meet our little one.

As far as pregnancy goes, so far I haven't felt much different. I'm a little more tired than usual and have been having some back pain. I'd say my most unexpected symptom has been heart palpitations, but they aren't bad at all. I'll admit, I'm a little worried about morning sickness. But, I'll take it!

And, for good measure, here's my first belly picture:

4 weeks

(I don't know why this picture looks so crappy and ignore the ridiculous look on my face. It was early...)

Putting it all out there

2010-12-30T10:43:00.000-06:00

I mentioned in my last post about my reason for the lack of posting. To be honest, this has probably been the most emotionally testing year I've ever had. In addition to our struggle with infertility (which I'll talk about in a minute), we've had some major family issues and I've felt as if my entire life has been ripped apart at times.

Since I'm being so vague about one subject, I'm going to jump right into the gory details of the other. Rob and I want to have a baby. Unfortunately, we've been facing the ugly reality that we needed help. In the beginning, I was reluctant to share. But, after almost a year of heartbreak, tears, Dr. appointments, and disappointment, I've decided that I shouldn't be afraid to share my story. In my journey through the jungle of infertility, I've discovered something.

I'm not alone.

There are times I feel alone. There are times I feel like no one could possibly understand. But, so often I encounter women who are experiencing the exact same thing. Why must we hide it? Why must we be ashamed? The ability to discuss something so personal and so life-altering is liberating. So, here is my story. I can only hope that someone will benefit from it.

Rob and I decided to start trying to conceive about a year ago. Several things went into this decision but it mostly boiled down to a deep desire to be parents. You can ask just about anyone that knows me and they know that the thing I've wanted to be when I grow up is a mom. I feel a calling. So, we ditched the birth control. To be honest, I knew before we even started there would be problems. And, 99 days (yes, 99) into my first cycle off the pill, my suspicions were confirmed. I went to see my OBGYN and she ran some tests and diagnosed me with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). She gave me some options and said "we can be as aggressive as you want." Well, we weren't in a HUGE hurry, so we decided to try a cycle on our own. With no end to that one in sight (and the thought of ending another really long cycle with Provera - AKA the drug from hell) and with the knowledge of what PCOS is, we decided to at least accept medical help. And so began our journey.

Since then, I've switched to an RE (reproductive endocrinologist) and I've experienced 6 cycles; 5 of them medicated with Clomid (50mg, 100mg, 100mg, 150mg, 150mg). I've had to induce my period with all of them but one with Provera. I've ovulated once - a cycle which resulted in nothing. I've had a HSG (or hysterosalpingogram and the most embarrassing event of my adult life) which indicated that I do not have any blockages in my fallopian tubes and ruled out that as being a factor in my annovulatory cycles. We've discovered that my husband could possibly have a slight case of Male Factor Infertility (MFI). We've had one cancelled IUI (intrauterine insemination) cycle due to annovulation.

We are now on our 7th cycle. This time we are seeing if I respond to 250mg of Clomid (since I did respond to 150mg the first time but not the second) and are attempting an IUI again.

I never expected to have to go this far and the emotional struggle is indescribable. I've spent a lot of time questioning God. If you know me at all, you also know that my faith in God and His will is something that I never question. It never falters. Even through the most difficult times, such as my nephew's heart surgeries, I've always been comforted knowing that God has a plan. But, I'd be lying if I said I haven't been angry with God. That I haven't yelled at Him and blamed Him for my misery. Why would He deny me the one thing I've dreamed of my entire life? Why do people get to experience the joys of pregnancy and parenthood and take it so for granted? Women, GIRLS, get pregnant on accident and are not shy about how unwanted it is. Why must I remain silent about my struggle with the opposite?

I've been wearing the shades of jealousy and bitterness consistently. Some times more heavily applied than others, but it's always there, no matter how I try to cover it up.

And yet, over time, I've grown to accept my plight. I've been placed in this situation for a reason. God has a plan and I take so much comfort in the beauty of His love for me.

I wrote this post quite a while ago and I never got around to publishing it. I still wanted to share my story, but now I'm so happy to share that I can begin a new story now. The story of my pregnancy. It's finally my turn!! We're going to have a baby!!

Sorry

2010-06-27T21:20:00.000-05:00

I'm still here and I'm sorry for the lack of updates. With summer break I thought I'd be posting a lot more. But, a lot of my thoughts have been occupied with TTC and honestly I don't think that makes for very good reading. I've explained my thoughts on that before. It's kind of hard to blog when something so big is weighing on your mind pretty much all the time.

So, I just wanted to post a little blurb update and let you know that I'll hopefully be back sometime soon.

Isabella 2.5

2010-06-04T22:46:00.000-05:00

This is Isabella. She's two and a half. She's adorable and completely melts my heart.

Isabella's mom asked me to take some pictures of her and I obliged. It was a great time! Though, I have to say, as cute as she is, she doesn't really like to look at the camera... :)

Catching Up

2010-05-29T23:14:00.000-05:00

School's out!!! I've been on summer break for about a week now and it has been great. I'm going to try to catch up from my lack of posting (finals and end of school stuff sucked the life out of me) in one post.

As I've already mentioned, I'm no longer a first year teacher. It went so fast, but it was great! And, even better, I get to teach math next year instead of science! I'll be teaching 7-10 grade, pre-algebra, algebra, geometry, and algebra 2. It'll be fun! Busy, but fun!
We're going on a vacation in August! I haven't gone on a vacation in 6 years, and that was a short weekend to Chicago. It's not much, but we'll be traveling to Gatlinburg, TN with my family and renting a cabin for a week. I'm so excited!
Clomid cycle 2 was another fail. So, we're still working with the doctor on that front. However, I feel so much more at ease now. I was very obsessive about it in the beginning, but now I'm truly letting it go and giving it over to God. Trying to keep our hopes up!
Running has had to been put on hold. I've been having a lot of pain in my right foot from my self-diagnosed plantar fasciitis that was getting progessively worse. So, unfortunately I will not be running the Komen 5K. But, I've proceeded with the 30 Day Shred which, I might add, totally kicked my butt. It was intense. But, 20 minutes isn't too bad and I hear it really works!
I had my first photo session yesterday for my best friend Valerie. She is expecting a baby in the end of June and we decided to play for a little while. I'm really happy with them! I'm posting a few of my favorites.

Unfortunately, a couple of the outdoor photos got a little overexposed, but overall I'm pleased for it being my first try! What do you think? Oh, and BTW, isn't she GORGEOUS???

And, speaking of photography, I know I slacked on the last few weeks of the 12 weeks class, but I plan on making them up later. I can definitely see a difference in my pictures before I "took" the course and after. It was really a great learning tool!

Tales from a Beginning Runner

2010-04-30T17:22:00.000-05:00

The Couch to 5k is off to an interesting start. I did all of my runs on time during week one. They weren't too bad. Then when it came to start week two (taking it up a notch) I woke up sick. I've been battling allergies for pretty much the first time in my life. It sucks. But, I'm back on track and have one more run at my week 2 level (run 90 sec/walk 2 min).

This is where I'm going to be honest. I don't like it. That's not surprising. I've never liked running. I'm not good at it. Why would you run for fun? But, I'm determined to lose 10 pounds and this is one way to do it. Also, I hear once you get past the initial awful-ness you grow to love it. I really want to love it. I really want to love exercise. Not loathe it.

So, here's how I'm summing up the first two weeks. Week one, not too bad. Hey, I think I can do this. Week two... eh... maybe not. My feet hurt so bad (plantar fasciitis). My knees hurt. My body hates me. On the bright side, I still LOVE this bra (you can buy one here) that I bought a while back. It's A-MA-ZING. I think I may have to fork out the money for another.

By the way, does anyone have tips for running? Is there a correct way to run? Maybe I'm doing something wrong. Is there some trick to make it easier?

Looking toward week 3 and I want to cry...
Brisk five-minute warmup walk, then do two repetitions of the following:

Jog 200 yards (or 90 seconds)
Walk 200 yards (or 90 seconds)
Jog 400 yards (or 3 minutes)
Walk 400 yards (or three minutes)

Wish me luck!

Ask Me Anything Answers!

2010-04-26T12:03:00.002-05:00

I had two people comment on my ask me anything post, so here's my reply.

N. asked:

Where is your favorite place? Can be a room at home, somewhere you go like a park, or somewhere you've traveled...
My favorite place is home in general. I love to be home. If I had to pick a specific place at home, I'd have to say my living. It's where I spend the most time! Boring, I know, but I can't help it. I'm a homebody!
What would you want for your last meal?
Tough question! Hmmm... the problem is, I eat like a bird. I'd get three bites in and be full. But I'd stuff myself silly with the following: Appetizer of a house salad from Fratelli's and Texas Roadhouse rolls and butter, an entree of Filet Mignon (medium) with A-1 Steak Sauce, green bean fries, sweet potato with butter and brown sugar and some sort of rice. I'd then follow it up with a dessert of pull-apart cake(I'll be doing a separate post about this little piece of heaven) and deep fried Oreos. Soooooo bad. If I wasn't already going to die (since it's my last meal and all) I'd probably have a heart attack soon after that meal.
Where do you see yourself in 10 years? 20?
10 years? I'll be 33. I hope to have some kids. If I'm not a stay at home mom at that point, I'd like to be continuing teaching math and possibly working on or already have my masters. In 20 years, I'll be 43 and to be honest, I don't know where I see myself. Hopefully continuing to be a mom and teacher. I'd love to travel and do some volunteer work. But I see myself doing those things after I retire. Hopfully by the time I'm 43 I'll have 10 years of teaching in and be on my way to retirement. I do know one thing though, I want to be a mom.
What's your favorite childhood memory?
Going to Six Flags every summer. We never really went on vacation (except once when I was very young) but we went to Six Flags once every year. I looked forward to it all year! It was always so much fun. We never really argued and we spent the entire day. I remember a lot of things from those trips!
Tell us something we don't know about you, that would surprise the heck out of us!
I am a closet musician. I taught myself how to read music play piano starting when I was probably 5 or 6. I don't play for people - aside from my husband when he happens to be home while I'm playing. I play for myself. It's kind of my release.

I'm currently working on a few songs including songs from the Pride & Prejudice Soundtrack (my favorite movie ever!). You should seriously follow that link and go listen. It's amazing. I love Dawn and Liz on Top of the World. I'm also working on a song called All of Me by Jon Schmidt which is a really cool song to play. Watch this video and you'll see why. (Before you follow that link, I have to warn you, I'm blogging on my work computer which doesn't have access to youtube. So, I think that's the right video, but I can't view it to see for sure. Just warning you). If you like the song and want to try and play you can download the sheet music from his website for free!

I've also been working on the classic Au Clair de la Lune. Though this is REALLY stretching my abilities.

In addition to piano, I sang in choir in school for 7 years beginning in 7th grade through high school. I sang in the chamber/jazz choir senior year and qualified for all-state choir junior and senior year (though I didn't make it). I'm not that great at singing, but I truly miss choir. It was one of my favorite things to do.

Phew!! Thanks N. for the questions!!!

I got one from My Husband's Watching TV. She asks (after finding out that in addition to teaching I'm also our school librarian) what my favorite childhood and adult books are.

Oooooo!!! Tough question!! I LOVE to read, always have. I used to get in trouble at school because I wouldn't put my books away. I don't think I could ever choose just one book to be my favorite. I don't remember many picture books, mainly chapter books. I loved to read the American Girl series and other historical fiction. I also enjoyed The Devil's Arithmetic. As an adult, I've never outgrown my love for kids books. I don't really read adult books! I recently have read and love A Wrinkle in Time, The Magician's Nephew, the Harry Potter series, Twilight (yes, I know), and some picture books including The Giving Tree, The Little Mouse, the Red Ripe Strawberry, and the Big Hungry Bear, and Just in Case You Ever Wonder. I could go on and on with this list!

Thanks everyone for your responses!! Happy Monday!

Five Question Friday

2010-04-23T11:38:00.001-05:00

Welcome to 5QF! Let's get right to it.

1. What was the first car you owned?

The one I have right now. It's a 2009 Chevy Malibu and I love it. I drove my parents 2001 Malibu from high school until I bought this one after we got married. So, technically this is the first car I've ever owned!

2. What song are you embarrassed to know the lyrics to?

Honestly, I'm blanking on this one... sorry!

3. Have you ever had stitches?

Yep. When I was about 7 or 8 I fell while roller-blading and my glasses went into my head right by my left eye. I had to get 6 stitches inside and 6 outside for 12 total. Thankfully though, aside from my kidney stone that's the only time I've been to the hospital!

4. What was your first job?

Mama M., I think I've got you beat on the dorkyness scale. My first job was at our local library shelving books. I worked there for 5 years before becoming a substitute and eventually real teacher. I have my library card number memorized. Enough said.

5. Who is your favorite Sesame Street character?

I'm so weird! I don't ever remember watching Sesame Street as a kid! I know I did, but I don't remember it at all.

Happy Friday, Everyone! Also, don't forget to stop by here and ask me some questions!! I only had 2 people ask... sniff, sniff.

Ask me anything

2010-04-22T10:39:00.000-05:00

I'm having a bit of a downer day (well week) and I need to get myself motivated to blog. Not to mention, I love hearing from my readers. So, ask me anything!! I'll make a post (or maybe more than one, depending on how many questions I get) to answer them later this week. I look forward to somebody cheering me up!

Couch to 5K

2010-04-17T14:40:00.000-05:00

I wrote a while back about working on getting rid of the newlywed 9 (more like 10) that I've put on since Rob and I got married. Well, it's not going too well. I've definitely maintained, which means I haven't gained any more. But, I'm still not where I want to be.

Overall, we've been trying to make some major changes in our lifestyles. Mainly with eating habits. We've done a LOT more cooking at home and using fresh products instead of processed foods. We bought a 1/4 cow which we've been eating regularly as well as some chicken and fish. We also have a juicer now, which I LOVE and have been trying to use more fresh produce. It's fun! I've actually enjoyed it. The worst part is figuring out what to make, not how to make it. I'm not a bad cook by any means, we can just never decide what to eat. I'd like to work on meal planning a little more.

Our next goal is to start exercising a little more. We joined a gym and haven't been very diligent. I know it's just an excuse, but Rob's business had a lot to do with it. Leaving the dogs for long periods of time and being at Best Buy for ridiculous amounts during the past 10 weeks hasn't been conducive to our exercise regimen. But, we're back at it today. Which brings me to the couch to 5K.

I'm NOT a runner. I HATE running. I HATE exercising. I HATE going to the gym. I'm a big lazy bum and I enjoy reading and lounging around. I love how I feel after I exercise, but somehow that doesn't make me want to do it anymore. But, I need to be done with excuses. I need to stop being a baby and get to it. So, I'm going to attempt the couch to 5k.

Will I be successful? I hope so. I hope to keep you posted. So, readers, here's my challenge to you. HOUND ME. Someone has to keep me accountable and from experience, Rob isn't very good at it (sorry, babe). So, keep me motivated! Get me going!

Here's the rundown (no pun intended). I'm going to try and figure out how to post a google calendar to this blog to say what I'll be doing every day.

Today: Brisk five-minute warmup walk. Then alternate 60 seconds of jogging and 90 seconds of walking for a total of 20 minutes.

In 9 weeks, I should be able to run a 5k. That's ALMOST in time for the Komen Race for the Cure. I'd LOVE to run it.

Here goes nothing.

Five Question Friday

2010-04-16T08:26:00.001-05:00

Welcome to 5QF!! Here we go again!

1. What words do you use on your blog/online that you don't use in real life?
Honestly, I don't think there are any! Something to think about though!

2. Do you still write checks?
On very rare occasions. Mainly for my tithes at church or to pay a bill by mail for some reason. Why buy checks when the check card does the same thing?

3. Who was your favorite President and why?
Haha. I have no idea. One, because I've only been alive long enough to remember 3 of them. Two, I am so completely inept when it comes to all things politics. I've only recently started to really pay attention. Political science was never my forte.

4. Are you a yeller?
Also on rare occasions. I'm usually more of a stern talker. I call it my teacher voice. It gets used daily.

5. Have you ever dumpster dived?
Um... yes. But, let me explain. I worked at our local library for 5 years shelving books. So, I was very aware of the dumpster behind the building where they would throw old magazines and books to be recycled. Things that were outdated or they didn't think they could sell. So, one day I decided to see if I could find anything. I wasn't very successful. I found a few things, but nothing that was really worth the trouble.

Can I just say how excited I am that it's FRIDAY!!! I'm SO ready to sleep in tomorrow!!!

12 Weeks to Better Photography - Week 7

2010-04-13T17:40:00.002-05:00

Phew, playing catch up here! Back on track with 12WTBP. Check out the originator here.

This week was about outdoor photography and the macro setting. I've already been using a lot of my newfound techniques for outdoor photography seen here, but macro is something I've played with for a while. Macro is a setting that basically allows you to take a photo of something up close. You know those pictures of bugs and flower pollen? Those are taken using the macro setting and a macro lens. I don't have a macro lens, but I have a telephoto lens, which, when zoomed in all the way, will do the trick for the most part. I also have some pictures I took with my old P&S using it's macro setting.

This first photo was taken using the macro setting on a Canon S500. A 5mp P&S I bought for $500 (I KNOW) when digital cameras were first becoming big. This is my second favorite camera to my Rebel. Loved it.

Moving to the DSLR. I took this using my telephoto lens zoomed all the way in and on the macro setting of the camera. You can see quite a bit of detail, including the pollen stuck to it.

Another on the same settings. See the very narrow depth of field?

This was a little experiment I did. Same settings for both photos, but the first is using the UV filter I bought mainly to protect my lenses. The second is without. Interesting...

Can I just say that I was looking back at some of my old pictures and I have come such a LONG way in the past 12 weeks? This has been such a great experience so far and I'm SO GLAD I did it!

Next week: Moving Objects

Five Question Friday

2010-04-09T10:42:00.001-05:00

Ending the week on a positive note. No excuses, but I've been super busy this week! This was the last week of the Gamer Lounge and I had some school stuff going on. So, unfortunately, I missed my 12 weeks post this week and also Wedded Wednesday!! Sorry! I'm hoping to get back in the groove next week. We've got SAT's at school so I'll have a LOT of time on my hands.

Anyway, here goes 5QF!! Check out Mama M.'s blog for the rules!

1. Who would you want to play you in a movie of your life?

I'd have to say Alexis Bledel. I think she is so cute!!

2. Did you ever go to summer camp?

Nope. I always spent my summers playing in the neighborhood, usually with my best friend growing up and my brother, swimming at my grandparent's house up the street.

3. What sends you running and screaming in the other direction?

Spiders. Actually, it doesn't usually look like running and screaming so much as paralysis and hyperventilation. It's a sickness really.

4. What is something you do that drives your spouse nuts?

I quote Rob, "Say one thing and mean another." I think I need to work on my communication skills...

5. What is currently your favorite song?

My favorite song changes constantly and I'm usually listening to several. I like all types of music and have those songs that really stick with me. But, to answer the question, I'm currently repeating Snow Patrol's "Set Fire to the Third Bar". But I'm sure that will change next week.

Have a great day!!

More Photography Practice

2010-04-05T17:28:00.000-05:00

I'm using a new subject this time! This is my niece, Isabella. She's getting so big! She's only 2, but she's definitely big for her age. I think we got some pretty good shots!

Favorite #1

Favorite #2!! (This is my favorite, favorite.)

I hope everyone had a VERY happy Easter!!

Five Question Friday

2010-04-02T10:52:00.001-05:00

Here's another round of Five Question Friday!!!

1. Do you sing out loud in the car when you're driving?

Yes!! All the time. I was a huge choir geek in high school. I miss it! Now, that doesn't necessarily mean that I'm a good singer!

2. What would you never be caught doing?

Okay, this is going to sound weird. But, I love the way my dogs smell. Kind of like I love the way my husband smells. I must love them that much. So, my husband can attest, that I often am caught with my nose in their necks while giving them a good cuddle. If it makes you feel better, I do it to my husband too.

3. Will you go #2 in a public restroom?

Yes, if the occasion arises. But only in extenuating circumstances. Often though, unfortunately, when I've gotta go, I've really gotta go. So, there's no waiting.

4. Have you ever broken a bone?

Nope. I thought I broke my wrist this past September, but it was only a sprain.

5. Do you prefer cooking or baking?

Baking. But, cooking is slowly making its way into my better opinion. I just wasn't very good at it. With practice though, I'm getting better! I still enjoy baking much more.

Join in the fun!!

Practicing What I've Learned

2010-04-01T21:50:00.001-05:00

I was babysitting my nephew last night and it was warm and sunny outside so I thought I'd put into practice some of the things I learned.

So, these pictures are taken on the Aperture priority setting on my camera and I put the ISO at 100 since it was nice and bright and sunny out. Also, I actually used the flash on these to eliminate the shadow I was getting across his face. I'm actually pleased!!! I tried to put into use some the tips from this week's lesson as well. I'm pretty good about automatically utilizing the rule of thirds, but some of the other things not so much.

Enjoy!

Isn't he just adorable?! I can't believe he's turning FIVE this year. Where does time go?

12 Weeks to Better Photography - Week 5

2010-03-30T18:29:00.003-05:00

Be sure to check out Merideth's blog for a link to all of the 12 Week's participants!

This week focuses on composure hitting 6 major points:

Keep it Simple
The Rule of Thirds
Keep and Eye on the Horizon (sort of an extension of the rule of thirds)
Frame your subject
Fill the Frame
Try a new perspective

I'm going to be honest. I completely forgot about this week's lesson until today, so I'm just going to pull old photos that I've taken that exhibit each point.

Keep It Simple

Try to avoid too much background activity. It takes away from the subject. For example, my first image is a little to chaotic, you can see the poles in the background and it's a little distracting from James and his utter cuteness.

This second image, however is a little more easy on the eyes. My subject is clear and uninhibited.

Rule of Thirds

When taking a picture, try not to center everything. It's in our nature, I think, to want things to be symmetrical and centered. So, we automatically put our subject in the center. However, when you think about it, a lot of the images that you see and say "WOW" to aren't centered. They are often offset. So, divide your viewfinder into thirds (like a tic tac toe board) and line up your subject on one of those lines or cross points. I always say this was the turning point in my photography.

Keep and Eye on the Horizon

This is kind of an extension to the rule of thirds. Don't let your horizon cut your picture in half. Line it up at the upper third or lower third line in your image. You can see this a little in the image above.

Frame your Subject

Try using naturally occurring items to create a frame around your subject. It brings the eye in and makes the photo more interesting!

Fill the Frame

Don't let dead space kill the photo! You're taking a picture of something, let us be able to see it!

Try a New Perspective

Don't be afraid to show off your flexibility! For kids and pets, get down on their level, see the world how they see it. Try finding a perch or just a new angle. You don't have to photograph your subject head on!

Next week: Shooting Indoors

Five Question Friday!

2010-03-26T11:16:00.001-05:00

I kind of like this, don't you? If you want to join in the fun, check out Mama M.'s blog!

1. Did you pass your driver's test on the first try?

Yep. Though I failed parallel parking miserably.

2. What is your most embarrassing moment?

Ohhhh... that's TOUGH! Let me set the scene for you. We'd been dating for less than a year. Family dinner, with all of his immediate family. Let me clarify, ITALIAN family dinner. (I still don't know everyone in his family yet). Rob's grandmother (petite, sweet, old woman who always feels the need to feed you and is getting a little senile - I say that with love. In fact, she referred to me as Margerita for quite some time.) plays the major role in this story.

We're setting the table and food is ready. Most everyone is seated while I'm carrying a dish of some sort to the table when suddenly, Maw (Rob's grandmother) walks up behind me and, very nonchalantly, grabs my right boob. Yep, in front of everyone. Then proceeds to turn to Rob and say, "Don't worry Robby, they're real." I'm sure I turned about 8 shades of red. Best. Story. Ever.

3. What TV show would you like to be on- Oprah, Biggest Loser, or What Not to Wear?

What Not to Wear! FREE wardrobe!! And, I could definitely use some style tips. That area is not fy forte.

4. Would you ever get plastic surgery and what kind?

Surprisingly, yes. Call me ungrateful, but I'd like a breast reduction. These girls are something else, let me tell you. See story above.

5. What are your favorite jeans to wear?

The only jeans I've ever splurged on. They were $30 from the Buckle. I love them. They don't gap in the back and the glorious 35" inseam allows me to even wear heels!!

Join the fun!

Why we hardly ever make the bed...

2010-03-25T21:25:00.000-05:00

One of the daily things I wish I was more consistent on is making the bed. It's nice to walk into a room and have the largest piece of furniture in it actually look presentable. Part of the reason it doesn't get made is because Rob is the last one out of it. The other part is this:

But he's just so darn cute!!

Wedded Wednesday - Sacrifices

2010-03-24T16:54:00.000-05:00

Rob HATES getting up early. Me, on the other hand, as much as the actual act of getting out of bed early is not my strong suit, I enjoy getting up early. I would much rather go to work early and get out early than go in late and get out late. For Rob, being a night owl, the 9-6 schedule has worked perfectly for him for the past 3-4 years. I don't particularly care for the schedule since it really cuts into our time together, but it's not that big of a deal. So, when Rob came to me the other day and mentioned that there was a shift opening at work for 7:30-4:30 and that he was thinking about taking it, I was floored. I couldn't comprehend that he would actually voluntarily get up earlier.

He said that he hated that we couldn't spend very much time together in the evenings since by the time he got home and we ate dinner, it was time for me to go to bed. So, he wants to switch to an earlier schedule. This is one of those occasions when showing your love doesn't require diamonds or shiny things. This is one of the most thoughtful things he's done and I"m SO excited for him to be getting home earlier!!

12 Weeks to Better Photography - Week 4

2010-03-23T08:17:00.002-05:00

I have to admit, I was kind of dreading this week. I don't like to use my flash. The following pictures prove it. I'm not very good at it. They always get blown out and never turn out the way I want. But, the good thing is, now I know why. This week's lesson talked about the basics of flash and how to use it appropriately. The challenge called for photographing a subject outdoors in the shade and in a bright sun which casts shadows on the subjects face. Ideally, my subject would have been human. Unfortunately, this wouldn't work for me since Rob doesn't get home until almost sundown. So, the boys had to play the role and getting them to stand still is akin to controlling the weather. So, here' goes nothing. Also, my best friend, Valerie (I've mentioned her before) introduced me to Picnik. Why I've been torturing myself with Photoshop, I have no idea, because this thing is AMAZING.

Image 1/2:

Aperture: f/1.8

Shutter Speed: Automatic

ISO: Automatic

These images was my attempt to show that even when your subject is in a well-lit environment (outside on a bright sunny day) shadows can often cause issues and mute color. With a well-used flash, you can eliminate this. My issue with these photos is that I was attempting to hold Dudley still which caused me to be too close and the flash to overexpose the photo. But, you can see that the shadows which were on his face are now gone and the color is MUCH better (well, sort of).

Image 3/4:

Aperture: f/1.8

Shutter Speed: Automatic

ISO: Automatic

These images were my attempt to show that again, even though the subject is shadowed entirely (especially when there is a backlight) you can use a flash to lighten the subject. Again, this is a very poor representation, but, I did my best!

I'll definitely be practicing this more when I have a more manageable subject.

Five Question Friday

2010-03-19T18:44:00.000-05:00

This is something I came across on an awesome blog I follow found here. It's called Five Question Friday and was started on My Little Life.

So, here's goes:

1. Have you ever had a celeb sighting?

Unless you count Coldplay coming into the crowd at their concert, nope. I'm not cool like that.

2. What temperature do you keep your house?

In the winter, around 73. Surprisingly, Rob doesn't mind. In the summer, 78. Rob doesn't like that as much. If I had my way, it would be 78 in the house year round. I love it warm.

3. Do you notice dust at other peoples homes?

Nope. I think I've practiced ignoring dust in my house enough that I don't really notice it anywhere now. I hate dusting.

4. What's the worst job you ever had?

I worked for 3 months last summer at a children's shoe store at the mall. My first, and hopefully last, experience in retail.

5. What is your most sentimental possession?

This is tough. Probably the pearls I wore at my wedding. They were my grandmothers and my mom gave them to me for a birthday gift after having them restrung. I love them and they remind me of family and love and happiness. I'm sure there are many other things though!

P.S. Like my new signature? I think it's pretty cute!

Yesterday was awesome...

2010-03-19T17:56:00.000-05:00

Long pause... NOT!

I had been looking forward to yesterday all week. Wednesday, I spent a great day hanging out with my mom, my favorite thing to do, and had plans to help my best friend and lovely neighbor, Valerie, paint her nursery. She's a little over 6 months pregnant with what I'm sure will be a chunky, dimple-cheeked, adorable baby boy for me to spoil. We got up, went to Home Depot, picked up some paint and got started. She was taping and I was trimming. Literally, within the span of 5 minutes, it hit me. Excruciating pain like I've never felt before. It started as a small ache in my side like I turned wrong and quickly had me doubled over and barely able to stand, let alone talk and tell anyone what was going on. Not like I could really figure out what was going on myself.

She was amazing. She grabbed me an ice pack (the first thing I could think of to help the pain) and asked what she could do. If you know me, you know I'm not one to take things too seriously. I don't go to the doctor very often, let alone the emergency room, but I was at a loss. I needed help. So, I called Rob and told him to come pick me up and take me to the ER. While I was waiting for him, I vomited (I'm still embarrassed that I left that in a bowl in Valerie's kitchen sink) and she graciously put my shoes on. We hopped in the car (okay, I didn't hop, but you know) and made our way to the ER.

Vomiting must have done something because I was already feeling better. They checked me in and we waited. And waited. And waited. I was feeling fine for the most part by then and really just wanted to go home. But, we needed to get checked out.

5 hours, 1 cat scan, and a urine test later and I was diagnosed with a kidney stone. They said I probably already passed it. Thank God. It was awful. I NEVER want to experience that again. I've heard though, that the pain of a kidney stone is akin to labor and childbirth. So, I feel a renewed sense of confidence that I will be able to survive the experience.

I guess I'll be adding a little more of this to my diet:

But that's another battle in an of itself.

Wedded Wednesday - In Sickness and In Health

2010-03-17T21:10:00.000-05:00

We all said it when we got married (well, almost all, but you know what I mean). When we got married, we vowed that we would stand by our husbands/wives no matter what. In moments of happiness and sadness, rich or poor, sick or healthy. I said the vows and I meant them. But, I have to admit I'm not very good at taking care of my sick husband.

What can I say? It really takes a lot for me to give sympathy. Blame it on teaching 12-15 year olds. "Oh, you forgot your homework? For the 3rd time this week? Wow, that stinks. And what would you like me to do about that?"

Well, Rob requires a lot of care when he's sick, which I don't think is uncommon among men. I try really hard to care for him and to be supportive and loving. But, I know I'm not very good at it. It's a weakness. He came home last night running a low-grade fever (not really breaking 100 much) and it's lingered for today and this evening. There's not much I can do for him, besides give him Tylenol and make sure he eats and drinks. So, I go about my business. But, I know there are things I can do better and I'm going to try harder. Because that's what being married is all about. Caring for one another and giving 100%, 100% of the time.

We'll see if I still have a bit of sympathy in my heart...

Clomid Cycle 1 = Fail

2010-03-16T18:06:00.000-05:00

It may be a little early to call it, but I'm fairly positive I've reached the end of my first cycle on Clomid. I ended up having one hot flash in the middle of the night and no other side effects of the medication. Unfortunately, it didn't work. I never ovulated. I feel a lot better now about the situation than I did last week (you can read the post I made on that at the bottom). I was really discouraged and frustrated. Now I just have to call the doctor and find out what to do next. I'm really hoping my period shows up on its own and I don't have to go through the 10 days of progesterone pills to get it to start again. Maybe the next cycle will be a success.

I realized after I started posting about our issues with trying to conceive that I would need to be careful about what I post. I am so happy I have this place to put all my thoughts in order and it really helps during those times I'm feeling overwhelmed. But if we are successful, I don't want to share that news right away. This is something Rob and I agreed on when we started trying. So, from here on out I won't be writing too much on the subject as far as updates. I feel a little torn, because this is my place to share, my place to vent and chronicle things. But, like I said, we don't want to share that news too early. Does that make sense? I backed myself into that corner. :)

Anyway, in regards to this cycle I've come to terms with it. I've struggled with sharing the following with you, for a couple of reasons. One, because when I wrote it, there was still a chance I might ovulate. Two, it's pretty raw. I don't normally share my feelings like that and I still think some of them were unjustified. But, I believe in honesty. This is what I was feeling and I can't hide that. I feel so blessed for the many things I have and if God decides it is going to take a little longer for us to get pregnant, I'm okay with that. I have to be. I guess I was a little angry with God when I wrote this. A little frustrated. Disappointed. I'm feeling better now.

Feel free to read, if you like. I wrote this two weeks ago Thursday, the day I kind of viewed as the cutoff for this cycle. But, if you're not really wanting to read something depressing (like this post isn't already depressing enough), stop reading here.

I'm discouraged. I've been depressed all week. The worst part is, I don't feel like I have a right to be discouraged. I'm frustrated with myself and feel completely selfish. The clomid hasn't worked this cycle. I have not ovulated. I guess I was hoping that it would be perfect, an easy fix. And maybe it will be with the next cycle. But I can't help but be disappointed and discouraged. I know it's still early in the game. I know that I'm young and have time. But, I can't help feeling what I'm feeling.

I have this battle going on in my head. I'm disappointed that it didn't work. That I'm not pregnant. I'm annoyed that I'll be doing this dance again next month. What if the same thing happens? I'm annoyed with myself for wishing the days away until I reach certain "milestones" in the cycle - (progesterone, period, clomid, ovulation?, test?) I'm angry at myself for allowing these thoughts to consume me so much.

I feel faithless and unworthy. If I can't trust God to do this for me, how can I expect it to happen? I want to turn my brain off and give it all over. I want to not be worried about it. I've tried. Women have gone through much worse than this. YEARS of trying and medical procedures and still have no children. What right have I to complain? What right do I have to be so selfish? What right do I have to be upset that we haven't been successful in the several months we've been trying?

And I'm jealous. I'm jealous of the two friends I have who just found out they are pregnant. I'm so happy for them. Truly, I am. I'm thrilled that they are experiencing something so amazing. But, I'm jealous. That could be me. But it's not.

I'm determined. Tomorrow is a new day. God is good. Everything will be okay.

12 Weeks to Better Photography - Week 3

2010-03-16T10:42:00.001-05:00

Wow. I can't believe it's been 3 weeks since I started this series! This week we will be focusing on White Balance. This is something I never touched in my amateur photography adventures, but it has definitely shined a new light on things. Basically, there are different types of light depending on the source. There's a whole scientific explanation behind it, but I won't get into that.

Certain types of light give off a hue or tone to the objects it casts light on. The sun gives the most "pure" light - white light. It allows us to see colors for what they truly are. Though even the sun can cast color in a different way. Indoor lights all do different things the the hue of color as well, depending on the source of the light. Fluorescent light bulbs and incandescent light bulbs are each going to make your photo look one way or another.

So, this week I got to try my hand at using the custom white balance setting on my camera. Basically, you take a picture of a white sheet of paper and tell your camera that, in these lighting conditions, this is what white looks like and the camera will adjust accordingly.

Here's what I came up with:

Image 1 - Aperture Priority:
Aperture: f/1.8
ISO: 1600
Shutter Speed: 1/4000
White Balance: Auto

Image 2 - Aperture Priority:
Aperture: f/1.8
ISO: 1600

Shutter Speed: 1/4000
White Balance: Tungsten Setting

Image 3 - Aperture Priority:
Aperture: f/1.8
ISO: 1600
Shutter Speed: 1/4000
White Balance: Custom

There isn't a whole lot of difference between the first and third picture. But, you can definitely see that the color is more correct. The third picture better represents what the item (a lamp berger) actually looks like.

I am so excited about this project. I have learned SO MUCH!!

Wedded Wednesday

2010-03-10T14:18:00.000-06:00

Running a home. I think this is one of the greatest struggles we dealt with as a newly married couple. Determining the routine of our house. Who would cook? Who would clean? Who is in charge of finances? We had our fair share of tiffs in association with learning the ropes of home ownership, but almost 2 years into our marriage, I think we have ironed most of it out (haha, only to have it upset again by a baby, hopefully).

We were as green as it gets when it comes to homeownership (and I'm not talking eco-friendly). Neither of us had lived on our own before, even through college we both lived at home. We had never experienced caring for ourselves. I must say, I think I adjusted a lot more quickly and efficiently than Rob. While I had never lived on my own, I definitely knew the basics of running a home. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, general maintenance. Though Rob would never admit it, I'm still the one who does most of the housework. Even cutting the grass. I have to laugh because I'm the one that had to light the pilot on the water heater when it went out and I put the Christmas lights up. I think I even changed the headlights on his car and put air in his tires. What can I say?

The business has definitely affected the balance of these activities. But that's okay. There are times when I feel frustrated about the lack of help on his part, but a small mention of my feelings and he's asking how he can help. He's good like that (I think it's a guy thing that you have to ASK for things to get done). He's awesome about cleaning up after dinner and usually takes the dogs out.

This is what marriage is all about, right? Finding your niche. Making it work. Learning together. We'll see what I'm saying about things when we throw a little one into the mix. :)

12 Weeks to Better Photography - Week 2

2010-03-09T10:22:00.000-06:00

**Let me preface this by saying that this is a really long post. It helps me to gain understanding by writing it out, explaining it myself. So, I hope I don't confuse you and if you want, go straight to the source of the information.

This week scared me a bit. I'm all over aperture. It makes sense and is what I focus on a lot. This week, however, we were diving into the world of ISO and Shutter Speed. I know what shutter speed is - how quickly the shutter (the little door that opens in front of your film/image sensor) operates. ISO - film speed - not as much. The thing is, is that in order for you to get a properly exposed picture you have to understand how these three things work together. It's a balancing act, when one changes, the others may need to change as well or you'll end up with blurry or dark or blown out pictures. So, here goes nothing.

Let's start with ISO. Like I said, ISO is film speed or, how quickly your image will be captured. The higher the ISO, the quicker the image is captured; the lower the ISO, the slower.

Higher ISO = Quicker capture = Less light required
Lower ISO = Slower capture = More light required

The numbers used to represent ISO are 100, 200, 400, 800, and 1600. This handy little chart helps you to know when to use what setting:

As you can see in the chart: More light = Lower ISO, Less light = Higher ISO.

You want to use the lowest setting allowable as the higher the ISO you use, the more possibility there is for grainy images (image noise) since there isn't enough time for the camera to capture the details.

Now, shutter speed. Also, like I said, this is how fast the little door (shutter) closes. It ranges from several seconds (bulb setting) to fractions of a second (1/4000th). A faster shutter speed will freeze action (think sports players flying through the air). A slower shutter speed will create a blurred effect (think an image of a highway with bands of light from the cars driving by).

Rules of thumb:

Use a tripod for shutter speeds 1/50 of a second and below to prevent blurred images.
If you are taking a picture with the camera in hand, use a shutter speed 1/60 of a second or faster. Hold your breath when taking the picture and if your subject is moving at all (a wiggly child, for example) up your shutter speed.
For fast moving subjects, use a shutter speed 1/1000 of a second or faster.

Now that we have the details out of the way, lets dig in to the practice part.

The question we are focusing on this week is: "When should I use a fast shutter speed?"

I am operating my camera in Tv mode, or shutter priority mode. This means I choose the shutter speed I want and the camera will set everything else (aperture) so that the exposure is correct. The lighting wasn't fantastic for my images this week, but I did my best. Observe shutter speed:

Image 1:

Shutter Speed: 1/1250 sec.

ISO: 1600 (I was indoors with poor lighting)

f-stop: f/2.2

Notice how the water coming off the glass is "stopped" mid-motion? You can see the bubbles and droplets.

Image 2:

Shutter Speed: 1/80 second

ISO: 1600

f-stop: f/8

Notice how the water is "flowing" in the picture?

The faster the shutter speed, the faster the camera takes the picture; the slower the shutter speed the slower the camera takes the picture.

Now, notice what changed in the properties of the images? The f-stop. In order to allow enough light for correct exposure, the camera changed the aperture. The top image has a much shallower depth of field the than the bottom.

Phew! This lesson goes into a lot more detail about operating in manual mode and adjusting the shutter speed, ISO, and aperture on your own. But, this post is long enough. I may go into this another day. I hope I was clear!

Are these posts helpful? Do you have any suggestions?

Spring is Here!

2010-03-08T19:57:00.000-06:00

The weather FINALLY relented and on Sunday I got to get out in the yard and clean up our landscaping a little bit! It was beautiful. The sun was shining, the weather was warm (well, warmer) and guess what I saw? Green stuff! My bulbs are starting to poke through!!

We've got crocuses and hyacinths that usually come up first. I can't wait for some color!!

Isabella

2010-03-06T10:34:00.000-06:00

I realized it's been a while since I posted about Isabella. She's already well past 2 and is hamming it up for the family. We are in love with her. She's so sweet and is talking up a storm.

And, SO beautiful!

Morning Routine

2010-03-05T11:41:00.000-06:00

My boys do NOT like to get up in the morning. On the weekends they'll sleep till 10. During the week Rob gets them out of bed and puts them outside before they go into their crate for the day. He always tells me how much they hate getting up. Then, the sent me this picture today.

Apparently when Rob brought Dudley back inside and walked him into our room to go in the crate he jumped back in bed and gave him this look. Pathetic, isn't it? "But I want to go back to bed dad!"

James doing his homework

2010-03-03T16:59:00.000-06:00

My nephew is growing up SO fast. He is in preschool and they have to do homework every week which is basically writing his name and the letter of the week. Check him out.

He's concentrating so hard!

I am one proud auntie!!

Did I say concentrating??

I laugh out loud every time I see this picture. Can't they stay little forever?

Wedded Wednesday - Rob Says

2010-03-03T10:31:00.000-06:00

I'm totally stealing this idea from Meredith (you should check out her blog anyway, this is also where I got the photography lessons from). So I thought I'd give Rob a little space on the blog. I mean, I talk about him an awful lot, he deserves it right?

1. As most of my blog readers know, you started a business. What is it? Why did you do it? Have you learned any good life lessons?
We are trying to bring something new to the gaming world. We want people to have a place to go to to participate in video game events, tournaments, midnight launch parties, etc. and have fun. Every event is also free. We have always had a passion for video games and simply looked at 1. What do gamers want? 2. Is anyone giving it to them? Gamers want much more and that is what we're here for. I have learned to have patience, things move slowly with a business but always work out for the best.

2. We're going on 2 years!! What is the best part of being married? What has been the worst? Any advice for the newlyweds out there?
The best part of being married is not having to constantly say goodbye and go a day or sometimes two without seeing that person. The worst part is money, buying and filling a house with stuff is expensive... My advice would be to double, triple, and quadruple check yourself financially before deciding to buy a house and get married.

3. We're trying to have a baby. How do you feel about this? What do you expect? How do you think our lives will change with a new little life?
I feel like I am slowly preparing myself mentally for this and I honestly don't know what to expect. I think we will be even busier but I also think it will bring us together in a way that nothing else can.

4. If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?
Spending more time with my grandpa before he died...

5. Is your life today where you imagined it would be five years ago?
My life is right about where I hoped it would be, sans being a published writer.

6. Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?

Hopefully, retired, with kids, and happy.

7. What is your favorite meal that I make? What is your least favorite?
I love it when you make scrambled eggs, also your salsbury steak is amazing. Their really isn't anything you make that I don't like.

8. What is a lesson you learned as an adult that you wished someone would have taught you growing up?
To be patient, if you're meant to have something you'll get it. Just sit back and relax, do your best, work hard, and everything will work out in the end.

Do you like hearing from Rob? It's funny, he is the funniest person I know (and several people can attest to this), but his writing is always so serious... maybe I'll do a verbal interview next time.

By The Way

2010-03-02T21:43:00.000-06:00

I am a bad blogger and completely forgot to give credit to the sources for my last post!

So, the 12 Weeks to Better Photography is from Two Peas in a Bucket and week one is found here, and I can't wait for next's weeks subject on ISO and Shutter Speed.

The lovely lady who is "hosting" this fun blogging adventure is Meredith. I've thoroughly been enjoying her blog!

Check back on Tuesday for my next "lesson."

12 Weeks to Better Photography - Week 1

2010-03-02T17:03:00.001-06:00

Aperture, right up there with the rule of thirds, I feel is one of the techniques in photography that I feel has made the biggest difference in my photos. I'm glad they started this course with it. It can be confusing (I found this when trying to explain it to my photography club students at school) because the "rules" behind it are sort of backwards.

Aperture is essentially how much of your picture is in focus. The lower the aperture , the less the picture is in focus (narrower depth of field). The higher the aperture, the more the picture is in focus.

As far as technicalities are concerned, you may have heard the term "f-stop." F-stop and aperture are interchangeable terms. "F-stop" comes from the symbol used to denote aperture. The standard lens' f-stop can be anywhere from f/4 to f/22. The lens I used for today's post is the "nifty-fifty" which has the ability for a lower aperture of f/1.8. This allows for a very narrow depth of field.

Observe (pardon the poor subject matter):

Aperture: f/1.8 = Very narrow depth of field.

Aperture: f/5.6 = Wider depth of field, the background is coming into focus

Aperture: f/22 = The whole picture is in focus (well, sort of, the background is a little grainy)

Thanks for tuning in!

Work Out Clothes

2010-02-26T17:31:00.000-06:00

I'll be honest, I don't really like working out. I know if I just did it more, I would learn to like it, but I'm lazy and I don't. I try to work out on a regular basis, but I'm really good at coming up with excuses as to why I shouldn't go. Winter has been a great one. It's just plain cold outside. Who wants to go to the gym with thin work out clothes on and have to walk through frigid temperatures to get there?

It's a horrible excuse, but another reason I don't really like working out is because I can never find work out pants that fit, mainly in length. I'm not exaggerating when I say that 95% of my wardrobe cost less than $10 and the things I have that cost more are either special occasion items or jeans that I had to spend more on for the length. Even then, I've never spent more than $25 on a pair of jeans. That's just not the way I roll.

So, in my mind, why would I drop even $20 on an item of clothing to wear solely for activities I don't like to do? Capris and shorts are one thing. But pants? Finding work out pants in a 34 inch inseam is a bear. Especially if I don't want to spend more than $10. Please observe my current work out pants. It's downright embarrassing. This is the way ALL of my work out pants look. I even have them pulled down low on my hips (though they never stay there.

So, I've conquered the work-out bra problem and now I'm off to conquer the work-out pants problem. Or, maybe I'll just deal until summer when my capris will work.

12 Weeks to Better Photography

2010-02-25T17:04:00.001-06:00

I'm very excited to be joining Meredith as well as some other bloggers in a 12 week photography course. As I write this I am anxiously awaiting my nifty fifty in the mail. Apparently UPS doesn't come to my house until very late in the evening because it's supposed to be here today and has not arrived yet!

Anyway, I will be going through 12 lessons, one each Tuesday, and posting the results here. I will also be linking to the other bloggers who are participating and hopefully we'll all be doing better by the end!

Feel free to leave comments, suggestions, criticism, etc. on the posts as I'm definitely looking to improve my skills!

Exciting Purchase!

2010-02-23T11:28:00.000-06:00

I had some points wracked up on our reward system credit card and splurged on one of these:

It's a Canon 50mm/F1.8 lens for my camera. I'm so excited!! It'll give me a whole new arena of fun to explore in my photography hobby. The lens is nicknamed the "nifty fifty" and it provides awesome pictures with a great narrow depth of field. I'm anxiously awaiting it's arrival in the mail! Then, I'll be sure to post some pictures I've taken with it.

Speaking of pictures, my blog has been a little devoid of them lately, hasn't it? Well, hopefully this will help!

Day 2

2010-02-20T18:32:00.000-06:00

Today is the second day of my Clomid cycle. I was really nervous about taking them. The major side effects associated with it are hot flashes and insomnia. So, I had to decide whether to take it in the morning or at night. If I took it in the morning, I was worried about getting hot flashes in the middle of school. If I took at night, I was worried about, well, insomnia.

Luckily, I've been side-effect free!

I'm trying really hard not to get my hopes high. I'm excited, REALLY excited, but I don't want to be disappointed. It feels kind of strange, too, because we didn't PLAN on getting pregnant so soon. But, the reason we're starting to try so quickly is because it may take longer than expected. I'd rather it be much sooner than much later.

I'm having those feelings of breaking rules or something. You know, you spend so long telling yourself that you can't do something - like you've set a rule for yourself - and then you allow yourself to break that rule. I'm having an interesting time getting past that feeling of doing something wrong.

So, operating get pregnant is underway. 10 days of progesterone pills (including horrible back cramping, bleck) - check. 3 days of waiting for my period - check. 2 days of my period - check. Now I have 3 more Clomid pills and I wait. And hope. And pray.

It's all in God's hands.

STOKED!!

2010-02-18T16:22:00.000-06:00

Rob's business made the front page of the biggest gaming website in the world!!

Here's the story:

The Gamer Lounge on IGN

BTW, I took all those pictures - so does that mean I'm famous too?

Wedded Wednesday

2010-02-17T16:43:00.001-06:00

Wedded Wednesday is a collaboration
of married bloggers sharing their inspirations,
anecdotes, struggles and thoughts regarding
the amazing union of two separate people, as one.

Being married to an entrepreneur has its moments. I am SO proud of Rob. I am proud of his accomplishments and his drive to make the best life he can. I am grateful for the sacrifices he makes for us and his desire to make us "rich so we can retire early and spend all of our time with our kids and families." He has worked so hard.

You know what's coming.

This has been a difficult week for us. We have spent the last week and a half prepping and planning for the grand opening and now it's come and gone. But, the stress still lingers. I tend to be unusually calm under pressure. I feel like I think clearest when I'm in situations that require big decisions. Rob, on the other hand, gets emotional and loses some sense of logic. He tends to get impatient and defensive and my attempts at a calm discussion don't always end nicely. But, we balance each other out and we manage.

Leah reminded me of communication today. There have been moments when I feel like if I just suck it up and hold on to the emotions I'm feeling with the stress in our lives, it will be better. But, then I remember the times I've done that before and the problems it has caused. I know, though, that this too shall pass. Rob will not always be stressed and I will not always be stressed because he is stressed. I take comfort in knowing that at the end of the day, we'll be together side-by-side and loving each other more than ever.

Downside

2010-02-16T16:49:00.000-06:00

The biggest downside to being off birth control? Acne. I feel like I'm 16 again... :(

I'm not sure that it was the birth control that was entirely controlling it, so much as the lack of major hormonal swings.

Anybody have any suggestions? I'm just trying my best to keep things under control!

BTW, Valentine's day was this weekend. And, while I said Rob and I weren't doing anything because of the business, he did make me a fabulous dinner of chicken in cream sauce while we watched a movie together on the couch. It doesn't sound like much, but it was wonderful to just relax together after a long day on Sunday.

Gamer Lounge Grand Opening

2010-02-15T12:20:00.000-06:00

It was a HUGE success!! The local band, Beckon, played for about 25min before the grand opening and they were fantastic. You should definitely check them out when we get the video up. Then we had the unveiling. It was awesome. Check it out:

The band: Beckon

Before the unveiling:

Again, before the unveiling:

Immediately after the curtain was pulled:

Stop by if you're ever in St. Peters! We'll be open for 6 weeks.

Check out our website for updates as well.

Woo-hoo!!

2010-02-12T12:23:00.000-06:00

We got our tax return today!! Doing taxes sucks, but it sure is worth it in the end. :)

Is anyone else celebrating with me? Too bad we won't have it for long. Is it sad that we've already decided what it will go to?

Come on out!

2010-02-11T13:22:00.000-06:00

I've revamped the blog. I wanted a more "springy" look and made a new header and changed some html to give the blog a facelift! All you google readers come check it out!

Wedded Wednesday

2010-02-10T19:00:00.000-06:00

I thought I might take on the challenge of this theme I saw on another blog. Here goes.

It is Wednesday, right? Okay, good.

What is Wedded Wednesday? Read for yourself:

Wedded Wednesday is a collaboration

of married bloggers sharing their inspirations,

anecdotes, struggles and thoughts regarding

the amazing union of two separate people, as one.

Saturday will be our 20 month wedding anniversary. I know what you're thinking. Who still counts months? It's kind of our thing. The number 13, that is. Our first date: August 13, 2008. Friday the 13th to be exact. Our first kiss? 13 Days later. We got married on June 13, 2008. Also Friday the 13th. So every 13th of the month is special. Its a little thing we share. I love it.

I remember the first time I understood what it felt like to be in love. To love someone so much that it hurt. It was January 2005. I cling to that feeling. Relish in its glory. In its pain. To have those fleeting thoughts of accidents and this could be the last time when he walks out the door. Only to have them swept away by a kiss.

Our wedding day. When we made that commitment that not matter what, we'd keep remembering that feeling of love so deep your heart hurts. It makes me smile. When I changed my name. I joke about my last name, but I'm proud of it. I'm proud of him.

The fights and arguments. I consider them moments made for future entertainment. The first feelings of accomplishment at doing something together. Buying a house, car, lawn mower. Putting the Christmas tree up together.

Cherishing the time we have on this earth and knowing I am blessed enough to have him to share it with. That is wedded bliss.

Purely. Simply. Love.

Fears.

2010-02-09T21:43:00.000-06:00

Since making my previous post, I feel like a weight has been lifted. I no longer feel like I have this big burden I'm carrying around on my own. But, that doesn't mean that I'm not still apprehensive. That I'm not still scared. This whole situation is terrifying.

The decision to try. That first step to stop taking the pill. That was a big decision. We'd spent the entirety of our marriage without this worry of getting pregnant and all that it entails. Then, we took the step. We crossed the line into the world of trying to conceive. Well wasn't that a joke. To think of all the money spent on birth control pills and now we're going to spend money on just the opposite. Ironic.

Then come the doubts. After a never-ending cycle, the thoughts of trouble started creeping in. Like I said before, I've always had issues with my cycles. But until now, it never meant anything. I didn't really think about it. I've always wanted to be a mom. More than anything. And finally we decided that it was time, only to hit a road block. What if I never get that chance? That scares me more than anything. More than spiders. That's a lot.

Okay. Enough of the drama. I got past that fear. I talked to my mom. She calmed my fears. I talked to my doctor. She calmed my fears. There are solutions. So, here we go. Clomid. Enter more fears.

When the doctor prescribed me the Clomid, she said, "If you're not pregnant in three months...." Holy crap. That was, like, fast. I got really excited. And really scared. I had kind of settled back into that "it's not possible to get pregnant mode." No ovulation means no baby. Now its real again. It's like going off the pill again. But this fear is okay. It's apprehension. Excitement. Then fear again.

Clomid can cause multiples. My friend is a NICU nurse and she sees lots of Clomid multiples. Um... multiples? Ack! My brain can't handle it! But, again, after discussion and prayer, we were okay. If God decides to give us multiples, so be it.

But what if it doesn't work? Then what? Up the Clomid? Explore other drugs? IUI? IVF? How much does this cost? How risky is it? When is it time to just move on?

Then, after all of these "what-if's" have given me multiple anxiety attacks I feel that calm that only God can provide. Just when I needed it; when God knew I needed it, I came across this verse:

"Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 4:6-7

And I remember, everything is going to be okay.

The Gamer Lounge is Famous!

2010-02-09T16:25:00.000-06:00

Well, going to be.

My husband's business will be opening in the Mid Rivers Best Buy on Sunday for a 6-week trial period. We need your support!! This could be potentially huge for us and the business.

In fact, KMOV Channel 4 is going to do a news story on it's good news section tonight at 10pm. They will be interviewing one of the co-owners and giving a sneak peak at what's to come.

We are REALLY excited and hope that this is a huge success. Tune in!

Operation Get Pregnant

2010-02-08T13:28:00.000-06:00

Yes, you read right. Rob and I have officially crossed into the world of trying to conceive. It's a big step for me to post on my blog that Rob and I have decided to try to have a baby. I've been struggling with posting this for a while, but I've decided that this is what my blog is for. The decision to try to have a baby is a very personal one. I had hoped that we would just make this decision, try for a little while having this fun little secret between the two of us and eventually announce here that I was pregnant. But it doesn't seem to be going that way.

We've actually been across the line for a little while now, but it's proving to be a little more difficult than we anticipated. Actually, scratch that. Its been just as difficult as I anticipated (part of the reason we decided to start trying - it could potentially take a while). Without going into gory details that even women don't really like to read about, unfortunately my body does not seem to behave like a "normal" woman's body should. I have never gotten regular periods and, as I've discovered through charting, I have not been ovulating.

There's a big scientific equation behind the cycle a woman's body goes through each month and for some the equation is missing certain variables. My doctor thinks I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). For some women this diagnosis results in the complete inability to ever conceive. For others, it's just a little hurtle. My mother has the same diagnosis and she successfully (though with much trying) conceived my brother and I. It is by no means a death sentence to our chances of conception. But, like I said earlier, it may prove more difficult. Whether it's PCOS or not, I'm not ovulating and that's a problem. This is where the big decisions come into play.

What do we do? Keep trying and hope that I eventually ovulate and we catch that chance? This could happen as little as two to three times a year, if that. This makes our chances pretty slim. So, do we chase these chances? Do we seek medical help? What would the medical help entail? Medication? What risks are involved? So, I enter the world of possible infertility treatments. I made an appointment with my OB/GYN and we discussed my options. There were two. I could continue charting and hope that I eventually ovulate and we actually get pregnant. Or, we could try a medication called Clomid. :::Cue worst-case scenario-induced panic:::

What is Clomid? Clomid is a medication which, in essence, induces ovulation. For many women it works immediately and there is success. For a small percentage of these success stories, it may cause multiples. :::Cue more worst-case scenario-induced panic::: For some it doesn't work. It didn't work for my mom.

After much discussion, Rob and I have decided that we are going to attempt a very low dose of the medication and see if anything happens (we pray that it does!). If not, we'll go from there. Am I okay with this decision? After much thought and prayer and deliberation, yes.

I hope I don't bore you with this stuff. I guess I'm looking to have someplace to lighten my mental load because, while it is important for my husband to know and understand what's going on, no matter how much I talk to him about it I know, as a man, he'll never quite understand. He is trying his best to understand and is doing so well at being supportive. But, I think his brain shuts down at any mention of periods or cervical mucus. Do you blame him? I don't. I wouldn't blame you for wanting to stop reading right now. I'm rambling.

So, here we are. Rob and I want to have a baby. Anovulatory cycles = no baby. And so begins round 1 of Clomid (something I'm still coming to terms with). Wish me luck!

Business

2010-01-29T08:28:00.000-06:00

You may remember this post a while back talking about my husband's business. A year later, with a lot of time, effort, and negotiations I'm proud to announce a big event. Beginning February 14th, The Gamer Lounge will be taking up a temporary residence inside the Mid Rivers Best Buy. Think The Geek Squad for video games. They will have a small section of the store set up for all things video game related: game play, tournaments, launch parties, general information. It's going to be really fantastic.

There are a lot of ideas being thrown around right now which include giveaways, coupons, and other customer incentives. They've discussed having a place to donate used games to be donated to places like Cardinal Glennon, The Ronald McDonald House, etc. They will be boasting the latest technology in the gaming world and, for all you gift givers out there, can point you in the right direction if you're not quite sure what to get as a gift.

So, come check them out and give us some support! If all goes well, Best Buy may consider expanding the business into more stores! We are VERY excited and VERY nervous. We need all the support we can get. Or, even if you're curious, just come check us out. You may even see me up there!

Revelation

2010-01-25T09:32:00.000-06:00

Recently, I had an epiphany of sorts in terms of how unbelievably fast time goes as you get older. Don't you remember being a kid and thinking that a couple of hours in the afternoon seemed like forever? Not to mention your birthday and the exciting day when you got to say you were (insert number here) and a half. As the new year rolled around, like many others, I found myself reflecting on the past year and all of the events that occurred to safely store away in the vaults of my memory.

Then I realized that Rob and I are well on our way to our 2 year anniversary. What!? When did that happen? I felt like I spent the past 5 years waiting to get married, including a 2 year engagement, and here I am nearly 2 years into my marriage! Wow. It feels like just yesterday that Rob and I started dating and we marveled at the feeling of being one of those couples who hit "the year mark." Now we've been together over 5 years.

Watching James and Isabella makes me so happy and sad at the same time. James has been walking around saying things that he's going to do when he's five and a big boy going to kindergarten. ::Sob:: And Isabella is surprising me every time I see her. She's two now. Check her out at Christmas.

And don't get me started on Oliver and Dudley. My firstborn is going on 4 with Dudley trailing close behind at just over 3. As Rob and I look to the future to start a family, I hope to everyday keep in mind that we never get these times back. I love watching James and Isabella grow up and I can't wait to see what their futures hold, but a small part of me wants them to be little forever. It is so bittersweet.

Christmas Cards

2009-12-23T16:59:00.000-06:00

I'm a little late on them, but I got my Christmas cards done and sent out! They turned out great (at least I like them). I love expressing my creativity (what little I have) in photoshop. Fun!